THE 5 LANGUAGES OF LOVE

IF THERE WAS EVER A BOOK THAT EVERY COUPLE SHOULD READ BEFORE MARRIAGE THIS WOULD BE THE ONE

At every point in our marriages we both have felt as if our spouse just doesn't love us the way we need them to... every couple go's through this!


Imagine your wife coming to you saying she feels unloved, she's sad, depressed, feeling unwanted, and to that you respond "but I buy you gifts all the time! I hold your hand, I kiss you, hug you, make love to you, why do you feel I don't love you?" and to this she responds 'I don't know, I just don't feel loved".

Individuals feel loved in different ways, some of us need to receive gifts to feel loved, others need acts of service, others need to spend quality time together, others need romantic words of love, and others need physical touch. It should come as no surprise that often we don't understand what our partner needs in life to feel loved and needed. Before going any further I highly suggest you do 2 things... 1st, buy this cheap simple book! it saved hour relationship. 2nd, google the 5 languages of love quiz on google, each of you should take it and email each other your answers. This quiz shows how we as individuals need to be treated to feel loved by our spouse. Generally we each have 2 strong points, a mid point and 2 weak points. the to strong answers are the ones we need to focus on, though the other ones should not be forgotten. Let's discus the 5 languages and how they apply to intimacy in our relationships.

We've preached it so many times, our sex life is 50% of what makes a good marriage strong in the long run, but that 50% has to be a great 50%, not just "going through the motions"...
How your partner needs to feel loved largely depends on what her or his love language is outside the bedroom. By learning our partners language and applying the same skills during sex our glue can surely be strong enough to make our partner feel loved.

ACTS OF SERVICE:

How do we sexually show Acts Of Service? Simple! We are selfless, we serve our partner, we do things for them with no expectation of return. A spouse who needs to be loved in this way wants you to spend time and attention on pleasing them, you can do this in many ways, by kissing all over their body, by giving them sensual massages, a must have for this spouse is receiving long and dedicated oral sex, essentially we put our needs aside and do whatever it takes to give them pleasure instead of focusing on our own. (though you should get attention back obviously).

RECEIVING GIFTS:

What do those who love gifts need sexually to feel loved? I think you can answer this one yourselves! Gifts! this can come in many forms, sex toys, lingerie, a surprise oral orgasm at on every holiday, it can be shown by giving our partner coupons for sex (the type where it says get 1 free so and so), this person also expects to bee wooed and romanced often, make sure to set aside time to secretly plan romantic sexual getaways with your spouse and they'll be sure to be happy.

QUALITY TIME:

Sexually this principle is simple, your partner needs you, and needs you often, on a regular basis. But not just on a regular basis!!! what does quality time mean? QUALITY!!! the time you spend together is one where you both are engaged, vocal, into it 100% and connecting on a deeper level than just socially or mentally. Your partner wants to feel 100% wanted, desired, even craved by you, without this they cant possibly hope to feel loved. 

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION:

Sexually this person absolutely needs to hear you, this can be done in two different ways, but the key is they have to both be done! first romantically, building them mentally and expressing your desire to have them, as well as your love for them. Secondly, this is done by dirty talk, expressing what is happening in at that moment in a sexual way. Things like "oooh, ahhh, uggghhh, yesss, baby, F me, give it to me, harder, spank me, pull my hair, etc. are all vital to this persons sexual enjoyment.

PHYSICAL TOUCH:

Generally one of the top languages physical touch is simple, they HAVE TO BE TOUCHED WEEKLY, IF NOT MORE. How to do it sexually? Things like hugs, kisses, cuddles, are all great, and help fill the void in your day to day lives, but sexually this need requires much more effort. Kissing of course is the first necessity, followed by using your hands to run up and down their body, Foreplay is a must for this person, if they are to feel loved it must be 10+ minutes of pure devotion on your part. Those who crave physical touch crave oral sex, without it sex is just meh, and they cant possibly ever feel loved without it. The rest of physical is simple, they want to be screwed like a porn star, they enjoy the pelvis smacking, sweat drenching, hip grinding, eye popping experience every man and women dreams of. Seduction is a pure necessity to this person, they want to be chased after, they want to pounced on randomly as you wear a naughty outfit out of the blue.

If your spouse is this person I would typically offer two words of warning for you and your marriage, that if you don't have both sex and oral sex once a week your marriage is on thin ice for infidelity or divorce, when a "Physical Touch" lover goes without sex for long periods of time they will withdraw from their spouse in every aspect of life, their pain is so intense that they either choose to cheat, leave the neglecting spouse, or live in a deep and dark depression that haunts them every moment of every day. Your marriage wont last long if this goes on repeatedly.