MAKING OURSELVES SEXUALLY AVAILABLE FOR OUR PARTNER
For those handful of you out there who don’t struggle with
finding free time, let me be the first to say, TELL ME YOUR SECRET NOW! Haha.
Who among us doesn’t get caught up with the chaos of todays society, rarely is
there adequate time for what matters most, we spend it on work, on school, on
errands, on chores, what little free time we have is precious, even more
precious than gold in my opinion.
For ten long years Brett and I found ourselves making
excuses, never time enough for each other, always something more important to
do, always somewhere to be, someone to see. But as has been mentioned before,
no matter how noble the use of time is, if its use is destroying the family and
your relationship, changes need to happen, no achievement at work, school or
elsewhere can replace failing within our homes and relationships.
More recently we have found it more difficult to make time
for each other dealing with our infant children, often we think to ourselves,
we’ll make a date happen this week! Yet time and time again the date is put on the
back burner, or forgotten entirely. The answer for us has been simple, set a
date, set a time, and do it! Under no condition other than natural disaster or legitimate
family emergency should your date, your one weekly opportunity to re-support
your marriage be put on hold, this is gas that keeps your joint flame running,
without it any couple will surely end up with an empty tank sooner or later.
Pick a time when you know interruptions will be minimum, romance each other,
hold each other, reminisce about times past, make new memories, and most
importantly, make each other scream your name in ecstasy again and again.
Sometimes time is not the issue though, various excuses
often come up and are used time and time again to avoid intimacy. While these
excuses are often valid, to ignore their cause and do nothing to correct them
is nothing less than irresponsible as a lover. For a long period after giving
birth to our second child I was far too ashamed of my body to let Brett touch
me, or even see me naked. For months I would shy away from his advances, making
various excuses as to why we couldn’t, knowing fully well I was just too embarrassed
to be intimate. Yet despite these feelings I did nothing to fix the issue, I ate
poorly, I did not exercise, ultimately making my embarrassment worsen. It is
vital we recognize when we are making excuses, while valid in the short term,
they should be quickly corrected so they don’t become long term excuses that
cut out sex completely from your life.
Ultimately it comes down to availability, if you truly want
to be sexually available to your partner, you’ll do everything in your power to
do it, you set a time, a place, you’ll remove excuses or embarrassing issues
that might prevent you, please don’t wait for the right time my friends, those
who wait, will continue to wait. And wait. And wait. If there comes a time when you just don't want to put in the effort anymore, don't be surprised when they've left you for someone else...
My weekly schedule to combat sexlessness has become: Monday-Thursday, Mother, Wife, Entertainer, Etc.
MY Weekend Schedule is free to: No longer am I a wife, the weekends are reserved for my man, It is my time to be a kinky cum swallowing slut as we please each other for hours on end at night. Every girl needs to be a princess and a queen with her family, but when it comes time to get close to her man, she needs to be able to transform into his private whore. That's what keeps the sparks alive!
Too tired. Too stressed. Too full. Figure out your biggest barriers to sex and plan around them. "When my husband and I go on a date, we have all these expectations that it's going to end in a night of passion," says Jolie Stavnicky a friend of mine, 39, a stay-at-home mom in Bainbridge, Ohio. "But after a big steak dinner with drinks, followed by bowls of ice cream, we both end up bloated on the couch in a food coma. The next morning we joke about how we had good intentions." Sound familiar? Instead of a dinner date, schedule a sex date. The anticipation of intimacy later will help turn you on. Text your partner flirty messages throughout the day. Or plan a tryst for the morning, when the kids are still sleeping and your stomach is empty.
Comments
I needed that message about it being ok to feel this way in the short term, but that it is unacceptable to do nothing about it to cure these issues. Its not fair to my partner to hold back year after year because of my own issues. thank you for your perspectives!
I can see how lack of experience can have the same impacts, If you haven’t had a lot of experience, how are you to know what to do to please him? And, if your guy has a more extensive sexual history, it may add to your anxiety because you are afraid of how you’ll compare to his past partners. Only cure is to either do more homework, or do it more!
Thanks guys!
I've noticed that a lot of it comes down to self confidence, during times when we're taking care of ourselves personally (as in weight, how we dress, grooming, etc) we feel far better about ourselves and are more willing to act on our urges.
Whereas those times in years past when we have a lot of extra weight we just didn't feel good about ourselves, and it really suppressed our desire for each other.
I also firmly believe the reason we're so sexually active now is because the sex really is amazing every time. The better the sex is, the more you'll want to do it, and the happier you'll be. I'd recommend sitting down and discussing what barriers are preventing you both from being more intimate, and making goals to fix them. As these barriers are removed confidence will rise, enjoyment will be greater due to lack of inhibition and better ability to maneuver during sex which helps make it hotter. It takes practice, but each and every time it will get better, the more you get to know your own body (and hers) the easier it will to have better sex :) TRUST US!
We also have a somewhat unwritten rule that once per week I get a night where Brett purely focuses on me for at least an hour (No reciprocation is required), similarly we have a night a week where I focus on him for an hour (no reciprocation required). Then we have one night of actual sex randomly, and date night sex where we each come prepared with some kind of sexual surprise for each other. which makes up the 4 times :) most weeks we end up showering together so oral sex (and or sex)tends to happen once or twice a week too :) making about 6 times a week officially.
Like I said, very rarely do we have to force ourselves to do it, we're addicted to each other, when we take care of ourselves our confidence is through the roof, that is the key.
Hopefully this helps! Best of luck!
it really only requires 20 minutes a day, and you just have to: A) schedule it, and B) do it regardless of hot tired you are, how hot it is outside, how much you have to do, you just have to make it a top priority. There may be things you need to skip out on so that you have the time for yourself, figure out what those things are, I'm sure if you plan and schedule well you'll be able to lose the extra pounds :)