CHOOSING LOVE OVER LIFES RESPONSIBILITES
Choosing the important things in life comes easy for some, and harder for others. How do we sort or prioritize the things that matter most in our lives and make time for the things that build up our family.
In our marriage, our family is, was, and always will be the thing that matters most, the thing that no matter how much else we have to do, how much other chaos is going on around us, no matter how many other duties, obligations, or responsibilities, can not fail. What does that mean you may ask? This means that everything we do in our lives is for the intention of building up our family and our relationship. What this means is NOT: WORK, NOT GOD, NOT SCHOOL, NOT RELATIVES, NOT CHORES, NOT FRIENDS, NOT ERRANDS, NOT OBLIGAITONS, NOT ANYTHING ELSE COMES BEFORE OUR RELATIONSHIP!!! NOTHING, DIDO,, SQUAT, END OF STORY.
So many couples put off sex because they think all these other responsibilities are what matters in life, that they are the things that will help the family to find happiness and success. True, they are necessary and cant be forgotten entirely, but False, without our marital relationship they are completely meaningless. Why bother working on the road 300 days out of the year "for your family" when it is destroying your relationships? why become so overwhelmed with chores, or friends or even school when it means your relationship has been put on halt or even destroyed in the process? OUR MARRIAGES CAN NOT WAIT! THEY CAN NOT BE PUT ON THE BACKBURNER UNITL TIME PRESENTES ITSELF TO US TO RESUME IT! These are the marriages that slowly die, that unravel from within, leaving both sides feeling completely alone and forgotten.
We challenge all to hear our voice, PUT YOUR MARRIAGE FIRST! NOT FIRST SOMETIMES, NOT FIRST WHEN YOU HAVE TIME, PUT IT FIRST NOW, PUT IT FIRST TODAY, PUT IT FIRST TOMORROW. don't let your relationship become one of bitterness and despair. Choose each other, choose when frustrated, stressed, behind in lifes duties, to choose each other first, find comfort in each others love, it has the ability to unite you even stronger in these challenges and duties, and face them head on.
Never let date day pass more than a week without going, never go more than a few days without sex, for us anytime we go more than a few days we begin to lose sight of each other, of our marriage, of what matters, each passing day only makes it worse, allowing for excuses to take hold of our intimacy, and thus tears us apart from within. As I write this in tears for the many couples who fail to chose love over lifes duties and obligations I can only beg you to prioritize your marriage, discuss what truly matters in the long run, no achievement, success, victory, promotion, degree, or even friendship can compensate for failure within your marriage. Choose love, choose each other every day.
Comments
This has been a huge issue for us within our relationship recently, I'm a full time student and she works full time, add in a baby to the mix and we've grown apart practically over night.
How do you both manage to squeeze in the free time for intimacy while also juggling the less important day to day duties you both have?
Secondly, as we've mentioned in our posts we have an attitude and commitment to being available for each other, and going the extra mile to make sure we get intimate time at least every other day. Our success came when we had sorted out our to do lists, carefully planned our day, and made sure that we had enough hours in the day to get it all done.
Often in the past we'd get the kids to sleep and wind down by having some tv time (which is fine), but when tv time was the only free time we had we realized we needed to better put that time to use, sometimes we'd make love while watching tv or dirty movies, sometimes we were so short on time that we'd have a quickie or oral for 20 minutes as he or I showered before bed. I firmly believe if your dedicated enough you'll both find a way to make time for each other. Now that may mean you or her needs to wake up 30 minutes earlier to get things done so at night your free for each other, or even getting to bed late.
Another big issue that had come between us was my friends and family, I also used to work full time for a while, on my days off you would think we would spend it together for a date or something along those lines, but instead I packed my entire day hanging with my friends, or doing things with my mother and sisters, going away on weekend getaways with both. Basically this left no time for him (which as I learned out later almost caused Brett to leave me out of neglect).
You both probably have your own distractions that are taking you away from intimate time, figure out what those are and try to minimize them. As we said in the post, things like work and school are absolutely necessary, but never can they become so over-burdensome / Important that your marriage falls apart because of it, if you don't make the time for each other, time will inevitably drive you apart, loneliness will sink in, regret, confusion, sorrow, and eventually hostility will take over leaving no room for love to strengthen each other.
Hope this helps! keep your chin up :)