How Sex Saved Our Marriage

Like a Virgin, Like a virgin who had had sex upwards of 40+ times, this was how I felt, how we felt about our sex life for the first 10 years of our marriage. We were shy, sexually reserved, timid, hesitant, both equally submissive, afraid, intimidated, and every other word you could probably use to describe someone who was inexperienced in bed and lacked sexual knowledge and confidence.   Something had to give, it had been 10 years and still we remained shy and timid in bed, how were we ever to fully understand the glory of sex, the passion of loving another, the lust, the bond that comes from sex if we were never to break free from this curse. For too long we had felt as if somebody had plopped us down In the middle of a foreign language exam and we had no help.   So, we explored, and we explored, and we explored, researching, reading, watching, and practicing often, slowly day by day our shyness disappeared, sex became fun, frequent, and a glue to our marriage....

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Choosing the important things in life comes easy for some, and harder for others. How do we sort or prioritize the things that matter most in our lives and make time for the things that build up our family. In our marriage, our family is, was, and always will be the thing that matters most, the thing that no matter how much else we have to do, how much other chaos is going on around us, no matter how many other duties, obligations, or responsibilities, can not fail. What does that mean you may ask? This means that everything we do in our lives is for the intention of building up our family and our relationship. What this means is NOT: WORK, NOT GOD, NOT SCHOOL, NOT RELATIVES, NOT CHORES, NOT FRIENDS, NOT ERRANDS, NOT OBLIGAITONS, NOT ANYTHING ELSE COMES BEFORE OUR RELATIONSHIP!!! NOTHING, DIDO,, SQUAT, END OF STORY. So many couples put off sex because they think all these other responsibilities are what matters in life, that they are the things that will help the family to fi...

LETS JUST GET IT OUT THERE RIGHT NOW, TIME IS A DAGGER TO RELATIONSHIPS… For those handful of you out there who don’t struggle with finding free time, let me be the first to say, TELL ME YOUR SECRET NOW! Haha. Who among us doesn’t get caught up with the chaos of todays society, rarely is there adequate time for what matters most, we spend it on work, on school, on errands, on chores, what little free time we have is precious, even more precious than gold in my opinion. For ten long years Brett and I found ourselves making excuses, never time enough for each other, always something more important to do, always somewhere to be, someone to see. But as has been mentioned before, no matter how noble the use of time is, if its use is destroying the family and your relationship, changes need to happen, no achievement at work, school or elsewhere can replace failing within our homes and relationships. More recently we have found it more difficult to make time for...

One of the biggest mistakes young couples make sexually is to limit themselves in the bedroom... Having the same style of sex not only leads to boredom, but often leads to stopping sex entirely. One of the biggest libido increasers we've found in our relationship comes from being willing and enthusiastic to try sex in new ways or forms. Nothing is quite as thrilling as having sex in a new way, its almost as if your riding a new roller coaster for the first time! Sexually active and happy couples are those who know how to find a good balance sexually and explore in new ways. Try changing it up, sometimes make it slow and romantic, others fast and rough, other times make it kinky and dirty, others make it playful and laughable even, try experimenting with role play scenarios and discover what turns each other on. Consider keeping a simple sex journal that describes what your partner loves in bed and ideas to add to your life. Couples who aren't willing to do this will ei...