SEX & YOUR RELIGION EXPERIENCE (Part 3/4)
One of my biggest obstacles in my relationships has been overcoming my negative mentality with sexuality, and re-programming my brain to enjoy, and even want sex. These changes came as I overcame my religious upbringing which had poisoned my sexual wants and needs. You see, religion and sex, when presented accurately has the power to shape a healthy and beautiful sexual journey. In contrast, instead we see many religions who not only do not understand biblical sexuality as God intends, but goes overboard and condemns it entirely, leading to misinformed views of sex in a relationship, poor marital sex, and poor mental health.
We’re so grateful for our 4 different volunteers who have been willing to write about their experience in Catholicism, Christianity, Mormonism, and the Baptist faith, and how each of their marriages were impacted as they navigated what their religion taught, verses what they did find a happy and healthy sex life despite their religions philosophies.
Todays religion of focus will be Mormonism
CHRISTIANITY & ITS WAR ON SEX
By Will C.
It saddens me to say,
but Christianity as whole is obsessed with sex… Call it an agenda, call it a
grudge, call it being misinformed or whatever you may, but regardless of what
religion you belong to, it’s a safe bet your preacher, teacher, prophets, or
spiritual leaders, has it out to make you fear sex, and the potential "damnation" it can
bring you. Mormonism is no different, as it lovingly presents sex in a
non-threatening way, and lets the individuals guilt take over, controlling
them, scaring them into submission, and making us feel bad for having urges,
whether married or not.
What “Sexual Sin” is, and what sexual sin isn’t
Sexual sin is a very
real thing, let that first be made clear, maybe just not the way Christianity teaches
it… Ever read the original translations of the bible? The true definitions have entirely different meanings, with the intent and focus on never betraying your spouse or
yourself, nor forcing yourself upon another. It's instructions are 1-to prevent having affairs behind a spouses back, 2- to never force another against their will (rape), and 3- to avoid Canaanite like sexual practices (which back in the bibles day the Canaanites were Israel's mortal enemies, and thus we see the crazy Levitical sex rules (which no longer apply with the fulfilment of the law of Moses).
Throughout the bible
we learn that sex before marriage is no big deal (Ruth, Abraham & David),
that oral sex, sex for fun, & swallowing is normal (Songs of Solomon),
threesomes, and orgies are beautiful when a married couple agrees (Songs of
Solomon), that same sex attraction (Ruth, David & Daniel) is Godly just as
a man and woman, and that sex is not just for marriage (David, Ruth, Abraham,
Exodus, Jeremiah, etc.), we see sex before marriage, threesomes, swinging, oral sex, same sex love and marriage, and all with examples of approval from God. So why then are these practices condemned? It is because 4-6 biblical passages are both misunderstood, mistranslated, and misused.
Lost in Translation: Why Todays Version of the Bible Gets it Wrong
I, like what has been
said before on this website, recognize that the bible we have today is not the
bible that we had originally, as the bible has changed so much over time, it’s
translations, its meanings, its very understanding. I choose instead to go to
its source material when trying to understand the content and Gods intentions for us to follow.
Have you ever played
the game where a large line of people whispers a statement to a single person,
and that person in turn whispers to the next person/passes it down to the next, and the next, and so on?
Usually by the time the last person receives the message/statement its wording
and very meaning has been altered into something that in no way represents the
original statement. That in a nutshell is what’s happened to sexuality and they way modern Christianity understands and interprets it… We have
preachers and teachers who claim superior knowledge, having studied and
received the final message, and they are now commanding we adhere to it, we of
course know though this knowledge is inaccurate and distorts what sex was
originally taught to be.
Do We Still Follow Leadership, Even When We Know They’re Wrong?
I’m not saying we
should ignore our leaders, because anyone when inspired by the spirit can
spread Gods true teachings, but we should be weary, and “test all things, prove all things” as Paul has stated. One of our
credos in our church is we believe things “as
far as it has been translated correctly”, and I stand by that, whether it
be scripture, revelation, modern day teachers and leaders, as long as it has
been translated, interpreted, and expressed to us correctly as God intended,
then it is inspired and God wishes us to follow, again, it’s not a “pick and choose
which commandment to follow” type thing, it’s about does God care that I
promise and covenant to do something, or does he not? I can covenant to eat 1
hamburger per day if God in turn promises to bless me with riches, but will God
honor that manmade promise?… I think not… Sexual commandments and other
commandments in general are no different.
My sexuality has
largely been affected by my knowledge and study of both history and the
scriptural source material. As a teenager I grew up in a neighborhood filled
with our church’s head historians, which lead me to dive neck deep into the
source material of both my religion, Christianity, and Judaism. Over the past
19 years as I‘ve studied the Pentateuch, the Hebrew, Greek, and Aramaic bible
translations, and as I’ve reviewed the history of each religion and differing translation, my eyes have
been opened to both the beauty, and the inaccuracies we see in todays bible. In
the end, I still sit here baffled at how our modern-day leaders cling to
inaccurate bible translations, ideas, and commandments, when even the source
material proves God has commanded differently.
Balancing True Sexual Bible Teachings Vs. Balancing Mormon Purity Teachings
Admittedly, my belief
in the LDS religion is more of a nuanced belief, not so much literal. I don’t
see the religion and its commandments in black and white as most devout members
do, I believe some things in our faith to be entirely true and of God, and I
know other teachings to be blatantly false and even borderline evil, and of
course there’s many principles that fall somewhere in between, containing both
partial truths, and partial manmade ideas. Ultimately, I take all of
leaderships statements as a grain of salt and prayerfully seek for answers
myself through the scriptures and history. Simply put, I seek truth, I follow
truth, and sexuality is no different, I follow true sexual principles from God,
not the manmade ones that Christianity has warped over the centuries. It’s not
a “pick and choose” which
commandments are right and wrong thing, it’s a “which ones come from God” thing, which does he require us all to
follow.
Controversial LDS Sexual Issues
LDS (Mormonism)
history as many already know is filled with controversy, just like the Catholic
church and its cover ups, as the founding prophet taught and engaged in things
such as:
·
Reinstating polygamy
(Founding prophet had nearly 40+ wives).
·
The founding prophet married
women as young as 14 years old (including his adopted daughter).
·
The founding prophet was
caught having an affair with a 14-year-old, wherein he used polygamy as an
excuse to cover it up.
·
The founding leader hid
his first 18 polygamous marriages from his wife.
·
The founding prophet
taught that adultery was not a real thing.
·
The Founding prophet taught
that those engaging in sexual relations with other women, that if they kept
their adultery and affairs a secret, that God would not judge or punish their
adultery.
Don’t get me wrong, our region has blossomed into something very beautiful (which is why I stay), but its beginnings are equally controversial as todays modern Catholic sex abuse scandals.
LDS SEX RULES & HOW THEY CONTINUALLY EVOLVE:
·
1830’s: Men can sleep
with other mens wives so long as they keep it secret
·
1830’s: Sex is between
men and women is ok regardless of marital status, so long as it remained secret
·
1830’s: Adultery is a
lie, and as long as you’re not caught God won't hold you accountable
·
1830’s: 1910- To enter
Heaven you must marry multiple women
·
1916: Polygamy is no
longer essential to enter heaven
·
1926: Joseph Smiths teachings on adultery,
polygamy, and sex before marriage denounced
·
1927: Marriage sex
should be the only sex
·
1935: No homosexuality.
·
1960’s: No threesomes
·
1960’s: Birth control
is of the devil
·
1960’s: "Sex
before marriage is akin to murder"
·
1970’s: Oral sex is a
sin
·
1971: Oral sex is
between the couple to decide
· 1972: Petting is
immoral
·
1990’s: Porn is
harmful
·
2011: Sexual
materials, toys, erotica, is acceptable when used responsibly together
·
2000’s: Birth control
is ok
Paired with the
Pentateuch, the bible, the dead sea scrolls, and the other surviving biblical
source material, it lays out clearly that leadership does not understand that
todays bible translations are incorrect, and they are applying rules that
aren’t rules at all.
“No Sex Before Marriage”
When asked what the
Bible has to say about sex, most people will have this response, “no sex before
marriage”. However, when asked to provide exactly where this rule is listed in
the Bible, the answer from many Christians is much less confident. My belief
that premarital sex is sinful was been shattered early on as I re-read the
accurate bible translations, before manipulated and altered wording was applied.
Take for example Christianity’s “Purity Pledge” scripture verses, the basis for
remaining pure before marriage:
· “Young women of Jerusalem, promise me by the power of deer and
gazelles never to awaken love before it is ready.” — Song of Solomon
2:7
·
However, compare it to the
original version, reading: “I warn you,
daughters of Yerushalayim, by the gazelles and deer in the wilds, not to awaken
or stir up love until it wants to arise by your own mind.” AKA, don’t feel pressure to have sex until you’re ready, don’t let men
rape you either.
Does not the
prophetess Ruth specifically have sex with a guy she meets and God approves? SHE DOES
LGB Biblical Debate
Romans 1:26-27 “For this reason God gave them up to degrading passions. Their
women exchanged natural intercourse for unnatural, and in the same way also the
men, giving up natural intercourse with women, were consumed with passion for
one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in their own
persons the due penalty for their error”. That makes it clear that it is a sin to have same gender
relations, right? But before you decide being LGB is bad, maybe try comparing the
verse to the source material again, which shows that “Idolatry, promiscuity and
shrine prostitution are what Paul is addressing in Romans 1 —not same-sex
relationships between faithful and committed partners. It’s about gross misuse
of power, Roman elitist overindulgence, and misguided over-sexualized
spirituality. The bible has verses to justify banning any practice you want when not using the verses in context. Anti LGBT scriptures all are taken entirely out of context, and few know it's original translations and wording that clearly show it is no sin.
How about Sodom &
Gomorrah? The “go to verses” for every Christian who points out it’s a sin to
be lgbt, well… except that’s not what the scriptures state… Lot’s story makes it
very clear the sin of Sodom & Gomorrah is both gang rape and hostility to
your neighbor, which both Ezekiel and even the savior specifically addresses directly, in the parable of the
good Samaritan. How about David who is in love with his best buddy Johnathan,
how about Ruth and Naomi who God blesses their lesbian relationship directly.
But the Law of Moses says…
How about the fact
that the Pentateuch’s Law of Moses (5 first books of the bible) are written by
5 different authors, most from the time of Babylonian exile, much like Isaiah
which has three separate and distinct authors who sought to approve and promote
their own theology (much of which contradicts itself). While 80% of the 5 books
of Moses stem directly from Moses, the other 20% was later added to the books
by the Pharisees to promote strictness and adherence to their own ideals. Ever
wonder why there’s some bizarre rules in the laws of Moses? Yup, there you go. The
bible is riddled with sexual sins, ranging from fornicators, uncleanliness,
adultery, and so on. Ironically all of these refer directly to adultery when a
man or woman sleeps around behind their spouses back.
Paired with the fact
that the law of Moses has been done away with, it’s double ammunition to prove
that todays Christian sex laws are a joke. Most verses in Moses are taken out
of context anyways, as the scriptures are condemning sexual activities with the
prostitutes as in the traditions of the land of Canaan, which is the whole
focus of the chapters.
My Sexual Journey, Navigation Away From Christianity’s Sexual Fiction.
Sex for me has always been a battle between what I know to
be right, verses what the church teaches Gods will to actually be, the shame is
minimal, but the trained internal guilt has the potential to make you doubt
yourself regardless of knowing you’re right. From an early age our youth are
interviewed and asked about their sex life details to ensure we remain clean,
some are affected more than others, at least for myself I managed to shrug off
these inquiries, most are not so lucky though, as the Christian sex rules
become engrave deep into their minds, causing a great deal of shame and uncertainty
sexually.
Admittedly, I wasn’t one of those who saved myself for
marriage, choosing to explore my sexuality in high school, secretly finding
ways to do the deed in a secluded car or empty home, hoping not to get caught by
a city where everyone was Mormon. We tested every position, mastered oral
skills, frequented dirty talk, and even a bit of cum play, becoming fairly
skilled in bed at an early age. While most would feel guilt ridden for going
against what their leaders had taught them, I felt a deep sense of peace
knowing that I was living the scriptures the way the bible originally intended
us to live it (sexually). Looking back, I’m now proud that I didn’t ignore my
urges, because it was this sexual knowledge that helped our marriage overcome
our sexual trials early in our marriage, as we navigated between shame, the
inability to have healthy sexual conversations, and express what our sexual
needs were.
In comparison my wife was much the same, just not to the
extent as I had engaged. Much like any teenage girl she was no stranger to frequent
sneaky make out sessions, scandalous lingerie and her daily thongs, dry
humping, and living her sexual life right on the edge of what was morally acceptable from
an LDS perspective.
While we never had sex before marriage, we thought for
certain sex would not be an issue in our relationship. We quickly found out
that making out and having sex were two different very things, taking a few
years to get in a good sexual groove as we slowly shed the religious guilt and
added toys, media, outfits, and other sexual aids to our relationship. To this
day I still believe that sex before marriage (when done responsibly) is vital
for couples to ensure sexual compatibility is there, for us we lucked out and somewhat
found our groove, but for so many others in our faith that I know, they were
not so lucky, abruptly finding that their sexual drives, interests, and desires
were not enough to keep their marriage as strong as it should be, as they were sexually incompatible.
Most LDS members are sexually like a shaken soda just
waiting to break free once the cap is opened, people have so much pent up
energy and opinions, and are scared to talk about sex and our religions harmful
presentation, but when someone opens up honestly, and talks about how they disagree
with the church’s teachings, like a wave of the majority of the rest the group
immediately chimes in and agrees, while the few rare hardcore crazy Jesus
ladies object with their out of date "sex is bad" mentality.
I’m so thankful for the peace of mind and knowledge from my knowing
my religion and my scriptures, enabling me to embrace my sexuality to the
fullest without shame or guilt. Honestly, knowing what I know now, I’m open to
trying just about anything, whether it be toys, media, positions, places to
have sex, heck I’d even be game to add new people to the bedroom to allow my beautiful
wife to experience the things that I was able to do in my youth.
I own my
sexuality, I embrace it, which is something not many other LDS members can say,
given their understanding of the modern-day scriptures and incorrect
interpretations by our leaders, hopefully one day both LDS and other Christian
leaders will take the time to know their own religion and scriptures well
enough that they can present sex in the way it’s intended to be.
Until then, Christianity’s war on sex will continue…
I would advise anyone (Mormon or not) who has deep and unquestioning loyalty to any religion to watch this video about living religion in a healthy way. As these 3 Christians share how loyalty without question has harmed themselves and others. Ultimately it is up to us to take responsibility for our own spirituality, sexuality, and religious beliefs as a whole. I think each and every religion has a lot of things they do and teach that are right, and equally as many things that they do and teach that are wrong or biblically misunderstood. For myself I've found peace in knowing my religion, knowing my scriptures, and knowing Gods will for us all. I am a follower of Jesus Christ, and while that may mean something different to each of us, I know his way includes loving God, loving others, and loving ourselves, anything short of this is not from God.
Comments
You really seem like you know your stuff, both with our church and the bible as a whole, would you be willing to message me personally so i can pick your brain about other verses and doctrine? My husband burries his head in the sand anytime the facts contradict what the church teaches, so i have nobody to discus sexuality in a healthy way.
I second what Rennae said, I too would love to understand better what the original scriptures said, I want to be more sexually adventurous but I always restrict myself because of what is taught by leaders. Would you be willing to share your email address and share your knowledge?
I’m a woman. I masturbate occasionally. My husband does too. I think as long as it’s not negatively affecting your life, love life, sex life, etc then it is fine (also, if you aren’t hiding it from your spouse).
We do not tell our bishop because that’s really not an appropriate question to ask, the temple recommend question asks about following the law of chastity - we feel that we do that
And Will I would love to hear more about your insights too about various translations
The written Pentateuch never forbids sex outside the context of marriage, with the exception of adultery and incest. It was the rabbis of the talmudic period who explicitly outlawed sexual relations outside marriage.
The rabbis of the talmudic era also laid down strict rulings regarding modesty and the separation of the sexes. The intermingling of the sexes in public, even in synagogue, was frowned upon. A man and a woman unrelated by blood or marriage were not permitted yihud, being alone together in private.
Much we read in regards to leviticus and deuteronomy concerning sex outside of marriage or lgb relations all are in the context of not doing them as the Canaanites did, which were male prostitutes who dressed as women at the temple grounds. The male priests dressed as women for ritualistic sex.
For anyone with questions i am always happy to divulge, i can be reached at wskyclayton@gmail.com
But as a caveat, I’ve never actually been with or kissed a woman, and the idea of doing so is kind of weird to me. My “fantasies” are always with a man. I just get somewhat turned on by looking at some women if that makes sense... Sometimes after watching a show with one of my "girl crushes" I need to go jump my husband :)
But it’s so hard to know how common this is because I would never admit it to even my closest girlfriends for fear that it would make things weird.
My wife is also attracted to women, but not in the same way she is to men. She does find herself turned on by women and the thought of two women together but has no desire to have a relationship with another woman.
Lots of non-member women watch girl/girl porn for example, but still identify as straight. Learning that made my wife feel better.
Bottom line, she decided not to stress about something that she can't control and seems like more and more feel this way
Chunks of my brain are scattered around my room after hearing this story. So my tbm roommate started off telling me about his friend who attended Byui a few semesters ago. She had a boyfriend at the time and in the evenings would usually go out on the balcony and make out with him. Not a huge deal even in Mormon eyes right... Anyways one of her roommates confronted her one night saying that she knew what she was doing and that she needed to stop. She was confused by this and asked what the heck her roommate was talking about to which her roommate responded, "I know you're having sex out There and if you don't stop I'm going to report you to the honor code office."
This 20 something girl literally thought that making out was sex!! So my roommates friend had to explain the birds and the bees to this adult girl for the first time. She got upset and called her parents asking if it was all true and why they had never told her this. Her mom gets pissed off at this friend for telling her daughter about sex because they were waiting to tell her the day before HER WEDDING NIGHT!! What the fuck!!?
And apparently this is more common then you would think. My tbm friend has also talked with a Mormon marriage counselor here in Rexburg who has met with several couples that come to him wondering why they can't get pregnant only to find they thought sleeping in the same bed is how babies are made. Literally just sleeping next to each other. No fooling around, nothing.
Has anyone else heard of this happening?? because my mind is just blown right now
I would have been angry and humiliated if this had happened to me.
Another time a husband told his wife on their wedding night. She did not believe him and called her mother.
I guess there are members who feel they don't have to worry about their kids breaking the law of chastity if they don't know how
Eventually, I introduced a partner into the mix. We took things very slowly, with a long, gradual build up. 10/10, would recommend.
Now, imagining going from kissing to full on sex in one night seems terrifying. I honestly think I would have had a panic attack if the first time I saw a penis I was expected to put it inside my body.
If you had sex for the first time on your wedding night, how was it? Were you so horny from 25 years of build up that it was incredible? Or were you so nervous from 25 years of build up that is terrible
I was one of the luckier ones, short but good. Some of my fellow BYU students were not so lucky. I know way too many girls who were horrified and guilt ridden from day one of their marriages. Many were divorced within a year or two
I'm not sure how to approach it with my kids yet. Thankfully we have years for that but I'm pretty sure I will approve of them having sex while engaged
I’d love to know more of the translation info also, always good to have some amo when my hardcore lds friends try and guilt trip me about chastity.
BYU students are oh so scandalous, 2 out every 5 couples do oral, 70% of couples dry hump or make out naked
Most LDS women are kinky and freaky as heck, it’s just burried deep and needs a little encouragment and push to allow us to come out of our shells.
Girls we’ve just got to do a better job at embracing our inner sex goddess... it all comes down to enthusiasm, creativity, and frequency. Mormons don’t have to suck at sex!
Be assertive and dominant in initiating the sex.
Build him up all day. Send him naughty texts that let me know you are thinking of him. It can be just plain text. "After you went to work I was thinking about playing with myself but I decide to wait until you could do it." "I just got out of the shower and more than anything I want you to be here in this bed with me...what time do you get home again?"
When he comes in the house be there to meet him in an outfit he finds sexy. Sundress, short skirt with no underwear, favorite pair of yoga pants, catholic school girl costume...whatever.
As soon as he comes in the door push him up against the wall. "I have been thinking about you all day. I hope you're ready because I need you inside of me right now." Then do what you want. Go down and blow him right in the doorway, grab him by the hand and lead him to the bedroom for the striptease, put your hands up against the wall and bend over in the doorway (or over the kitchen table).
Be vocal about much you want/need him. Men are rarely told that they are sexually desirable. "I want you. I need you to do that to me right now. Fuck, you make me feel like no one else has. Get over here and fuck me right now." More than any specific "moves" you should be verbalizing that you love the way his cock makes you feel and that you have been wanting him in your mouth/pussy all day. Verbalize that this is something you enjoy doing!!
Same goes for specific positions/fantasies. Ask him how he wants you. If it were me I would say "I want you bent over the table...now" And you say..."I was hoping you'd say that...(as you bend over) "please, get inside me soon. I'm dying to have you inside me." "Fuck I love when you do me from behind...Don't make me wait any longer"
Act like you are desperate for his cock. Act like the touch, taste and smell of it is the best thing to ever happen to you. Put on your most plaintive "fuck me" face, bite your lip or part them, moan, shudder, etc. Act like it's a profound sensation to be fucked by him. When guys see this, it goes right to their heads, both of them.
A few weeks ago I had been very very busy with work, 70 hours a week. Needless to say I had not been my normal self romantically.
Saturday night comes around wife and I grab a few movies on Vudu and I think we are settling down to watch a few movies. She is taking a shower while i get set up (she just got back from gym)
She walks into media room in a towel, stands in front of me. Lets her towel drop, poses for a movement and begins to walk out of the room. It was at this point my more primal instincts took over and we had some good rough sex in doorway between the media room and hall.
There are definitely submissive ways of initiating sex however, you kind of just have to explore which ones work for you. My favorites are butt wiggling, rubbing myself against his thigh, and I have a tendency to get very bitey and he loves that so Ill nibble his shoulder and slowly move to his neck.
I still wish he would initiate more often...
We almost always dropped what we were doing
I was working on the computer when she asks me to come to the kitchen. I go there and find her topless, sitting at the table with her tits over a plate. I froze for a second and she just stared at me and said "Diner's ready". My heart instantly started pounding and I got hard so fast. Let me just say diner was excellent that night.
What are your top 10 fantasies with your wife?
I guess to start off, my biggest thing is that having sex with more than just 1 person is so important in your life, with each individual you learn new things you may like or enjoy, you learn more about yourself and your preferences, and specially what you need sexually from a long-term partner. I know a lot of spouses who think of their partners ex’s tend to get jealous and insecure, but really they shouldn’t, as each individual has their own skills and weaknesses, I for example am not shy about learning about my wifes sexual past, I take pride in her exploration, as each guy taught her more about sex and what she enjoyed.
My “Pre-Marriage Sex Life”: I had sex around the age of 15/16 if I’m not mistaken. As far as places I’ve had sex, there’s of course the bedroom, the kitchen, the couch, also on a patio, on the washing machine, in the car (a lot). I think when you’re a teen oral sex is a big thing since you don’t feel as guilty about it, so we did a lot of oral, for myself I get off on getting others off, I love to please, so I’d try every technique I could come up with. She wasn’t the best at it, but a could go extremely deep (which impressed me at 8 inches).
Dirty talk in our relationship was a big thing, for me I want to be fucked just as much mentally as I get screwed physically, whether it was moaning, talking back and forth, sex was very very talkative, which is one thing she admittedly had going for her. Whether it was sly dirty talk to seduce me, or the words she said during, dirty talk is a must for me to get into it fully.
You also asked about “Cum play”, which essentially just means the person loved cum, she begged for it, gave herself facials, demanded it in her mouth, let it spill out onto her breasts, showed it off in her mouth, and of course swallowed every time. Essentially, she loved cum and knew how to show it off and drive me crazy.
Dating my wife: Dating my wife was a hot and adventurous time to say the least, we never actually had sex, nor oral, but we spent a fair share of our time either naked or on the couch dry humping. I always wore my basketball shorts (which helped show off the bulge to drive her crazy, and she always had a low cut top, and slutty thong on, we were anxious to fuck to say the least.
That’s more or less a summary of my pre-marriage sex life.
The second half of our marriage has still been a bit slow but has steadily improved sexually as we’ve avoided severe dry spells. These days we use a variety of toys, vibrators, dildos, wands, and lubes, we each have a variety of outfits, lingerie, as well as games, videos, and bondage aids. My sex drive is definitely higher than hers, as I need it every 2-3 days, but we’ve both learned that taking care of our own needs is mandatory in the dry spell times, we’re honestly just normal sexual people.
Oral sex and dirty talk was always a hard thing for her to wrap her mind around, but she came around eventually, and will give a handful of shower Bj’s a year, and finally begs me to “fuck her”. While I need more talk during sex I’ll take everything she’s willing to give. Cum isn’t her favorite past time but she tolerates it as best as she can.
My Turn Ons: I think my biggest turn on is when I can see or tell she’s turned, on, when she’s enjoying herself. I was a boob guy, but her behind turned me into an ass guy, I love being sexually surprised, I love heels, garters, thongs, DIRTY TALK, and just seeing her misbehave and shed the good girl mentality away like when we were dating.
Her turn Ons: She is very much a princess, she loves to be pampered and surprised as well, one of the things that made our sex like so exciting while dating was the rebellious mentality of not getting caught while she was at BYU, she also loves to be the submissive one, and likes being told what to do rather than leading.
I never like comparing partners, but In comparison to my past partner, my wife has the most incredible oral skills imaginable, she knows every trick in the book, she knows how to be a visual tease, how to connect with her eyes and smile, she moans as she sucks, and begs for me to orgasm, again, each person has their own skills and this is her God given talent. Every guy deserves to have his cock sucked the way this girl sucks. She’s a bj queen to say the least.
When it comes to seduction She enjoys the surprise element, like when I sneak up behind her and kiss her neck, or briskly pin her arms to the wall and kiss her deeply, other things she’s enjoyed in the past are walking out from my showers in the nude, walking around shirtless, texting her, making out on the couch, or flat out telling her she’s going to get fucked tonight, admittedly I need to improve my education game again. For myself I’m also a surprise lover, She’s not very coy when it comes to initiating sex, but she’s had a few jaw droppers in the past, ranging from dropping her shower towel, to wearing my church shirt with nothing under it. She also does this thing where she grabs me by the cock and drags me to where she wants to have sex (like a dog on a leash), I loose my mind when she does this.
1. To hear her verbally let loose, screaming, moaning, and dirty talking like a champ.
2. To arrive home to find her in her heels, stockings, and topless, in the kitchen and ready to fuck
3. To watch her get fucked from behind as I watch from a chair, allowing her to experience sex with another person like I’ve been able to
4. To watch my wife become a total cum lover and swallower (I love after bj’s bj’s and feeling it after I’ve cum)
5. To have sex all day, Fuck in the morning, have pancakes, fuck again before lunch, have pizza, watch a movie, give and receive oral, fuck before dinner, have dinner, fuck in the shower, have desert, cuddle the night away.
6. To watch her and another female suck my cock at the same time (not necessarily have sex) -hey… I’m a guy haha.
7. To wake up having my cock sucked by my sexy wife
8. To roleplay at a hotel with her as a glamorous call girl, or roleplay her as a lonely desperate housewife.
9. To watch her have her tits sucked by another woman and watch her make out passionately with her back.
10. To watch her make another man cum with her sex goddess blowjob skills
Text him super subtle dirty pics during the day. When he comes home he'll eat you alive. And maybe you'll get a bit spanked for your naughtyness! :D
A few years ago my husband had been unexpectedly home on a work day while the kids were at school, i decided to put on my sluttiest heels and stockings and walked out in the living room with a sexy strut topless, i stopped in the middle of the room and got on my knees and said “ i need to get fucked, make me your married cum slut baby” as i bit my lower lip and gave him the “fuck me puppy eyes”. He stood up, and out of the corner of my wye i realize his best friend is sitting in the opposite corner... both stood up and before i knew what hit me i had two cocks in my mouth... i fucked like a porn star that day! Best unexpected surprise ever!!!!!!
And that is the story of my first blowjob.
We also went out on a nice date, all dressed up. On the way back home, she slipped off her dress wearing nothing but pearls. She slid her seat back all the way. Turned around in the seat, leaning up against the dashboard. And people are worried about texting and driving....
We got back to my house and she ran inside, completely naked. Wow. Just.....wow....
Discovered over the last 6 months or so that my girl really likes to be manhandled. May not work for every girl, but for her I've found coming up behind her, putting one hand firmly around her waist and the other on her throat and very firmly pulling her into my body while kissing the back of her neck really gets her going. Can mix it up from there and slide the hand to the back of her head, grabbing a handful of hair and pulling her into a deep kiss.
In regaurds to your fantasy list, let me just say that you may find interesting the practice of hotwifing? Wherein the wife is permitted to have sex with your consent outside the marriage, my husband is a member in the stake presidency and allows me to do the same, she wont regret it. Also dont feel bad about wanting to have your wife and another girl spoil you a bit, you are a man after all like you said, its every mans fantasy.
God bless you and your pursuits/ marriage, I may email you privately about your scriptural knowledge and hotwifing interests. ❤️
Edit: I might as well add in things that do turn me on in a relationship.
-randomly, lightly and suggestively touching me throughout the day. This could be little massages, holding my hand for a second, randomly kissing me as he passes by, slapping my butt casually, etc.
-walking around shirtless or with shirt open. This probably only works of you're fit though.
-giving THAT LOOK. hopefully you have one, like a "oh, I'm going to tear your clothes off later" look.
-displays of masculinity. For example, if I'm struggling with something heavy, casually picking it up as if is nothing. Mmm. Showing confidence or bravery, "manly" chores like working on a car getting dirty with some construction project. I'll just sit and watch getting slowly turned on for hours.
-none of this matters if you're not already physically attractive.
I'll tell you how I seduce my husband since most answers you've gotten are just that it's not happening. I do little things like just not wearing a bra with a tight shirt, wearing booty shorts with lacy panties that peek out just a little around the house while I clean, I make sure to bend over to pick things up in front of him a lot, I'll look over while bent over and make eye contact, he's usually staring with his eyebrows raised lol. I will send suggestive texts anything from just words to pictures. Bigger things I do include lingerie (I have quite the collection), his favorite is a black sheer nightie that was a wedding gift. I will wait till he's taking a shower before bed and light candles, and be lying in bed waiting on him to come out, and of course old faithful, when we're snuggling on the couch I back my ass against his crotch..always works. I'm always looking for ways to keep him interested, and wanting me. A good sex life is essential for a happy marriage
* I put my hair up, as he knows this means he's going to get his cock sucked
* When we're spooning, I grind on him
* I kiss his neck and reach my hand into his boxers
* I tell him I want to have him in my mouth
* I let him walk in on me touching myself
After learning the ridiculousness of the garment and its bogus origins I vant justify wearing it, specially when it makes me feel so self concious and hating the way i look, it literally killed our marriages sex drives.
Is it true that in the temple you never promise to wear it?
It amazes me too that leadership continues to cling to the wrong information, even after having been presented with the truth. It makes sense, they would have to backtrack on too many teachings in generations past, which would make themselves as leaders and prophets look as if they had no idea what Gods will is.
The bible is filled with so many instances of sex not being a sin, there's Ruth being a lesbian and sleeping with that dude she met hours before, there's David and his concubines, hundreds of wives, and even his gay friendship with Johnathan, there's the fact that throughout exodus, Leviticus, and much of the old testament Hebrew men were allowed to own female sex slaves to get freaky with when their wives were otherwise occupied or incapacitated. There's the altered scripture wording, there's the info taken way out of context, there's Daniel (lions den) in all likelihood being a eunuch, there's Christ telling us specifically that Sodom and Gomorrah's sin was for not loving their neighbor, and gang rape, as he relates it to the story of the good Samaritan. The point is, anyone with half a brain can prove that todays LDS (and Christian) teachings are blatantly wrong, and do more harm to our youth and couples than good.
I, like the author am not saying lets abolish all sex rules, because sexually sin is legitimate after all, but it's focus is on consent, both between individuals, between couples, that's the point of each and every sex verse.
"It was originally the 'uniform' required for men to perform spiritual wifery". ('Emma Hale Smith Biography,' p. 140
The garment was the part of the grand cover up as Emma discovered Joseph had been engaging in polygamy behind her back. Which is partially why I no longer wear it.
Oddly enough it was a month after I stopped wearing them that I again began to love my body, I again felt comfortable in my own skin, I started taking care of my body again, wearing things that complimented my body, and my sex drive sky rocketed from it.
I feel like the information you presented about the early church and Joseph Smith is from anti sources and not true at all, Joseph had nothing to do with polygamy, would you please consider re-submitting this without the early church info that makes our church looks bad?
1---The founding prophet married 14 years olds (including his adopted daughter): http://josephsmithspolygamy.org/plural-wives-overview/lucy-walker/
“It is a command of God to you. I will give you until tomorrow to decide this matter. If you reject this message the gates of heaven will be closed forever against you.”
2---The founding prophet was caught having an affair with a 14-year-old, wherein he used polygamy as an excuse to cover it up.: https://www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-in-the-church-of-jesus-christ-of-latter-day-saints?lang=eng & http://josephsmithspolygamy.org/common-questions/plural-marriages-sexual/fanny-alger-evidence-of-sexuality/
“I did not fail to affirm that what I had said was strictly true. A dirty, nasty, filthy affair”.
3---The founding leader hid his first 18 polygamous marriages from his wife.
http://josephsmithspolygamy.org/common-questions/emma-smith-plural-marriage/, polygamy started in 1832, and was known by Emma until nearly 1842/43
4---The founding prophet taught that adultery was not a real thing.: https://www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-in-the-church-of-jesus-christ-of-latter-day-saints?lang=eng “Wherefore the principle of adultery is herein dead, therefore go unto your wife and hid thy second wife, we will bring you before the congregation and publicly scourge you, and shun your for a week, come back to me therein and we shall re-baptise thee, lest the city discover thy actions and our polygamy be discovered. Take no fear, for thy sins for taking thy second wife, nor for sleeping with her sister, nor for thy other sexual transgressions, for from this day they are no more sins, but Gods will.”
5---The Founding prophet taught that those engaging in sexual relations with other women, that if they kept their adultery and affairs a secret, that God would not judge or punish their adultery.: https://www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-in-kirtland-and-nauvoo?lang=eng (Citation #21) “Joseph and Proponents of “spiritual wifery” taught that sexual relations were permissible outside of legalized marital relationships, on condition that the relations remained secret”.
Nothing I state, or present, is my opinion, everything I share can and is backed up by facts, documentation, and church produced sources. While I love our church, it has 0% credibility when it comes to sexual instruction and authority...
I just don't know how I am going to be able to overcome the years of guilt, shame, and misguided commandments, it's all been like hardwired and brainwashed into my head.
Any suggestions? :(
Please again don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the church is good for nothing, and knows nothing, only that our leaders, our doctrines, and our very prophets have been misinformed about a great and many things over the centuries, whether it be polygamy, race and the priesthood, sexuality and homosexuality, about honesty with church history, and so on. The church is not perfect! But for me it doesn't have to be, for me I am able to filter the good from the bad, the right from the wrong, and like a grain of salt, prayerfully study, pray, and meditate about the truth of everything they state. TEST ALL THINGS, PROVE ALL THINGS (Doctrinally). The church still has a lot of beauty, and a lot to gain from it, never pick and choose what commandments to follow, but do pick and choose which to follow when you discover the commandment to be wrong, not from God, or even ungodly and blasphemous.
I’ve never heard any of this information, I’m going to email you some questions I have about some other sex verses that seem to contradict themselves. Your knowledge of the scripture, our church history, and sexuality as a whole is just amazing. I also love that you’re not afraid to point out whats wrong.
You really should start your own LDS blog about sexuality and how it relates to the church. ❤️❤️❤️
Joseph Smith had one of the most brilliant minds of all time, While I despise his character and behavior& his abuse of women, he helped creat a masterpiece, a melting pot of religion, combining Judaism, Christianity, Spiritualism, and philosophy all into one religion. For that I thank him.
While i do not believe that Joseph Smith saw God, nor translated the Book of Mormon, nor the Book of Abraham, nor was he the “one true prophet”, he had many prophetic insights and ideas.
Everything from the “First vision”, to the “Books of Abraham” & “Book of mormon”, while again containing inspiring stories, quotes, and spiritual ideas, are essentially a “Frankenstein” books and stories, that are plagiarized from other sources.
The first vision story for example was ripped off from others in the region (claiming to see God in that time was not abnormal), and he used the identical wording these others used.
The book of mormon (again while inspirational) is a combination of the view of the hebrews(written by oliver cowderys minister) which is a fictional story of Israelites traveling to america, splitting into 2 groups who war one with another, eventually leading to the return of christ and a buried record of treasure. The war stories come from “the late war”, the feel and wording of the book comes from “the first book of Napoleon”, which if you read the first chapter seems and sounds exactly like the book of mormon. Even Lehi’s dream is a copy and paste of his fathers dream years before...
The same can be said for the temple & garments (copied from masonry), as well as the JSTR of the bible which he copied from Ethan Clarkes bible translation. Even the book of Abraham was ripped off from nathaneul sweedenborgs 3 degrees of heaven hypothesis written decades before.
Combined with Polygamy, which has been torn to shreds, and now is agreed to have been a cover up for his affairs, it is clear Joseph while brilliant, was a major fraud.
Again, i dont care about our past, i care about what our religion has become, I seek truth, i follow truth, it’s not a “pick and choose thing”, it’s a “which commandment is real” thing.
I am one of the admins for the HHS lds womens sexual discussion facebook group, there is also a group for men.
My question is, if I was to do a similar style blog would anyone here be interested or benifit from it? I feel like there is a lot of unhealthy attitudes and pre-conceptions that harm sex as members. If it is beneficial I’d gladly create a seperate blog for us as well?
BTW, thank you to whomever was responsible for writing this article, it was brave, bold, and factually accurate instead of the usual wattered down info we often see from the church. I’d love to work with the author in the future on similar articles if he’d be willing? You’re knowledge of church history, and healthy sexuality are a breath of fresh air compared to most members.
I never feel comfortable talking in the facebook group out of fear of being caught. I think your right, our members comment the most on the site because they can remain anonymous here, whereas on facebook friends or family might catch or report them.
And Victoria i’m always game to contribute. Just let me know what you need of me, I’m well vesed in church history, lds doctrine, biblical studies and translations, and while i have no sexual education training I feel pretty well exposed to most things sex. always happy to help bring light to LDS issues and bad sexual misconceptions/ old wives tales that have harmed our sexuality for the past 200 years.