MASTURBATION: THE KEY TO THE FEMALE LIBIDO

There's nothing quite like the shame of masturbating in todays day and age, as a Christian teenager I'm sure we can all relate to the urges we all had, that itch to rub one out, and the shame that came after doing so... Most pastors these days promote the ole "no sex, no masturbation, no talking about sex" mentality before marriage, and don't get me wrong, there's some truth to sex before marriage, but as far as the whole "anti-masturbation" campaign, no an ounce of truth to be found about it in our scriptures...

LET ME START BY SAYING THIS

MASTURBATION IS A NORMAL HUMAN PRACTICE, in fact, is even an essential human practice, medical studies have PROVEN that the lack of masturbation leads to low libido, whereas the incorporation of masturbation leads to a high and healthy libido, as well as a positive outlook on our own sexuality. Heck, getting in the mood also deeply relaxes and de-stresses you. For anyone who believe or feels otherwise, I urge and even PLEAD with you to review our Christianity articles discussing what is sexually allowed and what is not biblically, as well as our other masturbation or sex toy articles.

AKA: you need to be "Jilling off" or "Spanking the monkey" regularly if you want your libido to be where it needs to be...

So, to the girl (or guy) who struggles to get in the mood here are some helpful hints about how to masturbate and enjoy it to the max.

MASTURBATE TO A MEMORY

We've all had them, those moments or experiences that make us instantly wet, it makes us go weak at the knees, flustered, we get the goo-goo eyes and just want to instantly fuck. Find that memory (or twenty), and rub one out to it, imagine what would have happened had you actually gone through with it and fucked each others fantasies out.

USE YOUR IMAGINATION

You remember that hot young stud you saw at the gym last night? or the guy you caught staring at your ass at the supermarket? Well, imagine what would've happened if he pulled you into those gym showers, or into the grocery market restroom, and banged it out. You get where I'm going here right? Your mind is your biggest se organ, the more you fantasize and recall former sexual memories the hotter your going to get for your man, and the better your orgasm will be as you Jill off.

Fantasize, read an erotic story, listen to music that turns you on, watch some porn, watch your partner do something sexy, ask for some tongue action, jump on the foreplay train, or use your fingers for a while - anything to get the juices flowing.

 Even if you use lube (which you should with any of these toys), this slick assistant sometimes isn’t enough. Double trouble lubrication is never a bad thing.

There are so many different ways to get horny, listen to some sensual or kinky music, light a candle and dim the lights, put on a dirty movie (or romantic movie if that's what gets you going), take a hot shower, or just lay in bed and grab a dildo, a vibrator, your fingers, or even just your imagination.
Always use some sort of lube, get things wet even if you don't think you need it.

What gets you hot and wet varies for each person, for me for example I love thinking about me pleasuring my guy, and him pleasuring me back, I visualize the moans, his body, I imagine getting screwed by two cocks at once, I imagine a lesbian forcing me against the wall and having her way with me, I imagine a black guy with a huge cock making me scream in pleasure, I even imagine a bunch of college boys gangbanging me endlessly. The point is each person gets off to different ideas, find what your "go to fantasy" is.

Sexual fantasies, of course, are a normal part of life. In our minds, we can engage in risky behavior without consequences and indulge our inner freak without judgment.

Girl-on-Girl

“I fantasize that I’m at the gym, alone in the steam room with a beautiful woman. Without talking, we let our towels fall and then start kissing, rubbing, and licking each other until we get off.” What’s the allure? Most girls believe another woman would instinctively understand their bodies and know how to bring them to orgasm. Plus, it’s exciting to imagine how soft and different a woman’s body parts would feel versus a man’s.”

Sex With a Stranger
You may stroll down the street and imagine screwing every girl you see, but for women this fantasy feels much more illicit. Whereas you’re expected to be a horn-dog, we’re supposed to be chaste and prim. But we don’t always want to be. “At restaurants, I always fantasize about having a quickie in the bathroom with the best-looking waiter,” she envisions hard-and-fast sex, no names exchanged, him pressing her against a wall in an alley. Theoretically, it’s the perfect scenario: a quick no-strings orgasm, and no worrying whether we’re skanks.

Submission
While many women love to take control in bed, just as many, or more, are enticed by the idea of being rendered completely powerless. “I envision a guy tying me up and having his way with me,” likes to picture her boyfriend tying her up and even using a blindfold or a gag. “I enjoy the thought of him using my body for his pleasure, I imagine being helpless and unable to move while he goes from my mouth to my breasts to wherever.”

Watching erotic films has allowed my partner and I to casually comment, ‘Let’s try that later?’. You can say it with a cheeky smile on your face. We have been inspired to try out new positions. Of course, not all of them have worked, but we did get a few extra giggles from trying.

PORN WILL SAVE YOUR LIBIDO SINGLE HANDEDLY, AND AT TIMES YOUR MARRIAGE

Sometimes we can’t be what we can’t see. I love watching confident women owning their sexuality. It’s super empowering. The characters in female-friendly porn are relatable and the scenarios are often doable fantasies. The acting makes the scenes feel more genuine. It’s ok if his penis slips out, the couple just keep going. This is in fact a large reason why we attatch so many pictures to our articles, Men in bed need a confident, aggressive, and teasing girl, who else to learn this from but the best of the best?

DONT BE AFRAID TO GET CAUGHT (NO SHAME)

From the day we learn what masturbation is there's this automatic fear of getting caught, but is it really that bad? I mean I get soooo turned on when I catch my man spanking his monkey, and I know he instantly wants to screw when he catches me doing the same. So? just do it! don't fear getting caught by our spouse, heck I even initiate sex sometimes by just laying in bed with a dildo or by watching a dirty movie and letting him catch me, SO HOT!

Experiment with sex toys.

To many women, a vaginal orgasm remains a myth to date. This is a fact and we should feel sorry for those that are affected. You should know that a vaginal orgasm is not a myth but something that happens in reality. It is a fact that many women even get multiple vagina orgasms. It is also a fact that you can have multiple vaginal orgasms without your partner.
All you have to do is purchase cheap sex toys. There is no need for you to strain your budget to get an orgasm.

If you are looking for the best result, you need to ensure that you get the deepest penetration possible. When you go out to purchase the cheap dildos, ensure that you consider its length and width. It should be just big enough to be able to penetrate as deep as possible without hurting you. It being big enough will ensure that it’s able to rub against the g spot.

There are rubber cocks that can stimulate both the clitoris and the vagina. If you are those kind of women that love to have both areas stimulated then try and find a dildo that can do both. You might even have multiple orgasms from the clitoris and stimulation of the vagina. Whereas it feels natural to lie on your back, try getting the dildo in from different positions. Some positions allow the dildo to penetrate deeper without much effort. For the some positions you would like to have a partner insert it for you and move it at different angles.

1. Classic 4 Finger Masturbation

This is probably the most used masturbation technique of the 10 listed here. It’s simple to do and will work well for anyone that enjoys lots of clitoral stimulation. All you need to do is find a comfortable position where you can easily access your clit with your hand. While the 4 finger technique is great for reaching orgasm, it’s not so good if you enjoy long drawn out ‘teasing’ masturbation. Thankfully the next technique will teach you just that.

2. U Spot

Not many people seem to know about the U Spot. It’s the area of skin just above your urethral opening and to the sides of it. To stimulate it you just need to very gently stroke it with the tip of your finger like in the illustration below. You’ll find that using lots of lube is best to help keep it pleasurable. For some women, the U Spot can extend higher than in this illustration, to right below the clitoris.

3. Fingering Yourself

I’ve covered a lot of masturbation techniques to bring yourself to orgasm that focus on your clit. However, there are also a lot of great techniques to make yourself cum that involve penetrating yourself. Fingering yourself is the easiest.

It’s a simple case of making sure that your fingers have enough lube on them, using either something like coconut oil or your own natural lubrication and then slowly penetrating yourself. While you can simply stick your fingers in and out of your vagina to find out for yourself what feels most pleasurable, I always recommend that you try stimulating your G Spot as this is almost guaranteed to give you an orgasm.

The one tricky part for some women is finding your G Spot. Don’t worry, I created a whole guide on finding your G Spot and having incredible G Spot orgasms here. But if you don’t have time to read it, here is the short version.

Your G Spot is located about 2-3 inches inside your vagina as you can see in the diagram and you can only find it when you are aroused as I explain in the article on finding your G Spot. So if it’s your first time, spend 10-15 minutes first getting yourself in the mood. Now it’s just a case of stimulating it. Insert 1 or 2 fingers and use the tips of them to press it, massage it and rub it. You can learn more about rubbing your G Spot in the squirting article here and the guide to your G Spot here.

4. Love That Shower Head!

If you haven’t yet used a shower head or faucet to get off then you are missing out! While it’s not exactly a standard masturbation technique, it feels incredible, yet quite different. All you need is a faucet that you can maneuver your vagina under so that the water can freely flow over it or a shower head that you can direct towards your vagina. Most women find shower time the best time to practice their oral skills as well as use a dildo.

I don’t know the exact science behind it, but everyone that tries it reports that the running water feels wonderful and can help you get off very, very quickly. So experiment with the settings on your shower head to find out what feels best. Quick Hint: You may find that the ‘pulse’ setting is best!

5. Delightful Dildos

How to Use a Dildo: Go From Average Moans to Atomic Groans

This last masturbation technique doesn’t involve your clit at all. Instead you’ll be using a dildo to masturbate with and reach orgasm. I’m going to assume that you already have a dildo (or dildo shaped object) and get straight to some techniques you can perform with it when masturbating.

The In & Out – The easiest way to masturbate with a dildo is to simply push it in and pull it out of your vagina, over and over. However, if you angle it a bit, then you can hit your G Spot & A Spot which will be a lot more pleasurable.

Using Your Dildo On Your G Spot – Like I’ve already said, you first need to be aroused to hit your G Spot (link to G Spot article). Once you are, then you simply need to angle the dildo so that it’s making direct contact with it. You can see the angle that you need to make from the diagram below. Just remember that you really only need short, shallow strokes to hit your G Spot. Like I explain in the article on stimulating your G Spot, it’s about 2-3 inches deep.

 

Using Your Dildo On Your A Spot – If you’d prefer to go deeper with your dildo, then you’ll hit your A Spot, also known as your anterior fornix. Make sure you are careful at first as you might accidentally hit your cervix when looking for it, which is very painful. If you are having trouble finding it, then you may need to experiment with the angle of penetration a little bit until you find it.

You can see in the illustration below that your A Spot is located much deeper in your vagina, very close to your cervix. It’s location is called the anterior fornix erogenous zone or AFE. 

6. In Da Hood

Some women have a super-sensitive clitoris. So sensitive in fact, that it can almost be painful to touch. If you are one of these women, then you may find that using any of my masturbation techniques that I have described above to be too uncomfortable…and possibly even painful.

If that’s the case, then instead of using my techniques to apply pressure directly to your clit, you need to instead use your clitoral hood as a buffer. That’s the flap of skin just above your clit that covers it. I’ve indicated it in the illustration above with a slightly darker shade of pink (in real life your clitoral hood has no distinct color). So if you have an overly sensitive clit, then try rubing your clitoral hood instead of your clit. You’ll notice that it’s a lot more pleasurable.

7. Hood Life

Now, you may happen to be someone who suffers from a lack of sensitivity and so need all the rubbing, grinding, touching & stimulation you can get on your clitoris. No problem, the Bad Girl’s Bible can help. To allow yourself to stimulate your clit more heavily, you’re going to need to expose it more. It’s easy and the demonstration above should be all you need to expose it.

As you can see, by placing your fingers above your clit and on either side of it, then slowly pulling the skin backwards, you will pull back the clitoral hood and expose it much more. Now you can use your other hand or a vibrator to stimulate it directly.

8. Featherlite

The featherlite technique is just like it sounds, it involves a ‘feather light’ touch. It’s best to perform the featherlite technique while lying down in bed, with your legs spread open. You’re then going to use just one finger (usually your index finger) to gently apply the tiniest amount of pressure to the very edge of your clitoris as demonstrated in the diagram below.

You’re only going to move your finger a few millimeters back and forth making sure to apply only the slightest amount of pressure to your clit. Many women report that it just feels too frustrating and they can’t keep doing it for long, that it feels like they are teasing themselves, while others report that the longer they do it, the better it feels.

My advice is to at least try it and do your absolute best to hold out for as long as you can, making sure to always use the very least amount of pressure possible.

9. Humping & Grinding Your Pillow

Many women first learn to masturbate through humping or grinding on their pillow. It’s perfect for stimulating your clit and labia at the same time. You’ll find that you get most friction, stimulation and pleasure if you are wearing your panties or nothing at all while grinding yourself off your pillow. Here are a few different ways to do it.

• If you have a long pillow like the one above, you can lie down on your side with it between your legs.Then grip it between your legs and pull it backwards so that it is against your labia and clit. Then just start grinding.
• If you don’t have a long pillow like the one in the picture above, grab a mid sized one and turn it on it’s side and straddle it. Or fold it in half and straddle it, whichever works best for you. Then rest your weight right down on it. Before you start grinding on it, you can adjust it so that it’s firmly pressed against your vagina. Then simply move your vagina up and down the pillow and ride it to orgasm!

• Another great way to provide even more pressure and stimulation to your vagina when pleasuring yourself is to cover your pillow tightly with a towel before you start masturbating with it. This way you will be grinding over your slightly more rough towel instead of your pillow. It also prevents your pillow from getting wet. Bonus Tip: You can also experiment with putting different things like stuffed toys or electric toothbrushes under the towel for a different sensation when reaching orgasm.
• Using a pillow is just the start. Why not try grinding on your man the next time you are making out with him. Simply straddle his thigh and start grinding!

10. Vibrator Time

Vibrators…Some call it cheating, but most don’t care because it feels so dam good! Vibrators can give you the most intense orgasms…but beware…often they can end up making your clit feel a little sore if you use them too much.

Everyone has their own personal preferences so I don’t want to prescribe any one technique as the only technique. Here are a few ideas to get you going:

• Some adore rubbing their vibrators all over their bodies and can even orgasm from using them on their breasts and nipples.
• Some love feeling the vibrations indirectly on their clit. Direct stimulation can sometimes be too much. So use tip #9 if that sounds like you.
• Some need direct stimulation on their clit to cum.
• Some adore running their vibrator up and down their labia.
• Some adore being penetrated by their vibrator.

If you are using a vibrator to masturbate, my advice is to play around with it and see what gives you the most pleasure. There is no “one size fit all” method to using a vibrator to orgasm.

11. Anal or Double Penetration

If you’re a fan of anal sex, then you will no doubt enjoy using your dildo for some anal pleasure. All the usual precautions apply here: make sure to use enough lube and make sure you thoroughly clean it afterward before using it on your vagina again. Check out our guide to anal masturbation for more tips.

PLEASURABLE POSITIONS

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• Lie on your back or face-down. These positions, however, put more stress on the wrists or joints. The discomfort can be mitigated by bending your knees towards your chest or putting pillows in places that take away unwanted pressure.

• Doggy style. For this one, you’ll need to purchase a toy with a suction cup base. You can stick it against a headboard or a wall, get into position, and rock it until the neighbors call with noise complaints.

• Speaking of suction cups… You can attach your little friend to a chair, stool, coffee table, even the floor. This is especially good because it leaves your hands free to play with other things or use other toys (I would recommend a Hitachi wand or finger vibrator). Also, if you’re on a chair, that doesn’t mean your feet have to be on the floor. Get creative and go crazy.

• In the shower or bath. The suction cup toys work very well here too. The non-stick ones work fine if you want to use them, just make sure the water isn’t too high and the toy is 100% waterproof. Careful you don’t slip!

MIX AND SPICE THINGS UP

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• A dildo in the vagina
• A butt plug in the backside
• A plug AND dildo for double penetration
• A penis in the vagina and a toy in the backside
• A toy (dildo or vibrator) in the vagina and a penis in the backside
• Toys and fingers
• Toys, penis, AND fingers
• (I’ve officially made my birthday list)

“Clitoral Fatigue”

Essentially, if you are stimulating your clitoris to the point where you orgasm and then is too sensitive for additional stimulation, your experiencing clitoral fatigue.

For women who are actively enjoying their sex life with you BUT they get too sensitive to want another orgasm, here’s what’s likely happening.

Whatever you are doing to stimulate you to orgasm is putting too much focus and attention on the stimulation of your clitoral glan. The glan, or head, is just the tip of the iceberg. The glan is covered by the hood and that is all that is visible of the clitoral structure. The structure includes a shaft as well as two wings or “crura” and two bulbs. The shaft, wings and bulbs are buried inside your and need time and stimulation to become engorged and carry you onto a plateau of arousal where you want to get off multiple times.

By spending more time spreading your arousal throughout your body, by playing with your breasts and nipples, by giving a sensual massage before touching your clitoris, you will engorge much more erectile tissue throughout your body. Then as you touch your vulva, you start from the outside and work your way in, just teasing your clitoris as you are engorging your vestibular bulbs and labia.

And last but not least, don't forget to let your man know what you've been up to, men love seeing selfie's of his girl using her toys.