TALKING DIRTY: WHAT'S APPROPRIATE IN THE CHRISTIAN BEDROOM?



We all have a kinky side, dirty at times even, but when it comes to communication and dirty talk, is talking dirty sinful when we're Christian? 


One of my most difficult hang ups in our early stages of marriage always dealt with what to do and say in  the bedroom, Brett however has always been a natural at communicating throughout sex, communicating verbally as well as physically how he was feeling, what he wanted, asking what I wanted. One of the few things Brett would ask of me when it came to sex was the “talk dirty to me” request. Each and every time I would become red in the face, thinking to myself what do I say? What is he asking of me? He knows I’m a shy tentative girl, we’re both Christian and watch our language, how am I supposed to talk dirty?
Dirty talk in my pastors words can be described like this, some words are good, some are all together bad, and some can be both good and bad depending in what context and setting they are being used in. 

Dirty talk is not a sin, it's just not. But that's not to say that some of the words we use during sex, should also be used outside the bedroom too. Words like "Pussy", "Cock", "Fuck", and other similar lingo has no business ever being used outside of sex, but when we look at the words and their meanings, they are describing a physical act or part of sex, the add flavor, emotion, and connection to sex. I mean who wants to hear someone say " I want you to stick your big penis in my vagina and move it in and out to make intercourse with me"? NOBODY! But in its place we say "I want your big cock in my tight pussy, Fuck me baby". See? Much better huh.

Its all about how and where we use it, keeping our mouths clean outside of sex, and dirty during sex.

As I more recently discovered dirty talk means different things to different people, different words mean different things at different times. Dirty talk often requires planning just like sex, learning phrases to say, voice tones to use, Brett told me its not so much what I say, Its just that I say something. Apparently most men aren’t so much focused on the words themselves, rather the person saying it, they find comfort and pleasure in hearing our sensual voice, knowing that we are feeling what they are, it’s a way of connecting verbally through our thoughts and feelings.

Personally, I started slowly as I simply described what I saw at the moment, saying things like “mm baby I love how hard you get when I…” nothing over the top, nothing like you see in movies, just simple connection, to my surprise every time I spoke my husband would smile, loving the fact I was connecting with him verbally. These phrases grew over time, describing what I wanted to do to him, or what I wanted him to do to me, slowly I introduced sensual moans when he hit just the right spot to let him know he was doing well, and to stoke his ego, never fake, but as I did so I noticed I found more pleasure in myself, more in tune with him, more easily able to achieve orgasm quicker and longer in duration. Occasionally when all alone, I would let out an occasional scream or moan, which always sent him over the edge, as he would return it with a sensual grunt and passionate kiss.


Now I know many of you with Christian values may be asking yourselves what is, and isn’t appropriate to say during sex, so often we’re told never to say a bad word, never to curse, to deal with this we must first understand words have a purpose, and should be used in its time and place.







 Level 1: SEXY PHRASES

Sexy phrases are nice, simple, yet effective. They are an easy way to dip your toes in the water of dirty talk while adding a little excitement.
These are basically sweet and nice phrases. These are the kind of phrases you can use to get used to dirty talk, specially if you’re new to this, or you don’t know what kind of response your man is going to have.
Some examples are:


 "Yes! Right there!"
 "Oh yeah, that’s nice"
• "That feels soooooo good!"
 "Touch me here"
 "Your mouth feels amazing"
• "I feel so safe in your arms"
 "I’m so loving this!"
 "I am so happy to be wrapped up here with you"
 "I have been thinking about doing this to you all day long"
 “Ohhhh, that feels good … right there”
• “Mmmmm, that feels incredible”
 “Your body feels amazing”
 “When you enter me, mmmm, it feels so good I have to catch my breath”  
 “Oh yeah, kiss my breast”
 “Yes, deeper”
 “Yessssss!”


Level 2: HOT PHRASES

These are the phases that will definitely add spice to your sex life; just make sure that you feel comfortable saying them, and that he will be ok with them.
It will all depends on your level of openness about dirty talk.
Some examples are:


 "My panties get wet just thinking about what you are going to do to me"
 "I want your thick meat!!"
 "Oh baby, I want you to cum all over me!"
 "Who makes that cock so hard, cowboy?"
 "I want you to fuck me all night long"

• "Mmmmm, harder… don’t stop!!"
• "Can you feel how wet you get me?"
 "I love to feel that hot cock inside me"

"stretch my pussy"
"cum on my"...
"Fuck my brains out"
"Whose your daddy"
"Who owns that cock (or pussy)"
 "You like banging this slick pussy, don’t you?"

 "Don’t stop fucking me until I beg you!"
 "I want to lick that dick like a lollipop"
 "I want to be so satisfied, that everyone who sees me tomorrow will know why I’m still smiling"

 "Put me on my knees and bang me til I cum all over your dick"
 "I love the feel of your soft balls in my mouth"
 "Oh yeah, that’s it, don’t you dare stop fucking me"

Level 3: DIRTY PHRASES

This is the level where you have to be very very careful, phrases similar to the ones below may turn him off or even offend him. Only use these kind of phrases if you’re sure that he's super comfortable and cool about it:
Some examples are:
 "I want your fat cock to cover me with cum"
 "Whip it out and cum all over my tits!"
 "Watch me while I’m sucking your balls and licking the underside of that gorgeous cock of yours!"
 "Do you want to spank my ass while you’re grinding me from behind?"
 "Tell me you want me to swallow your load!!"


 "I’m going to let you eat me after you fuck me for a few minutes first"
 "Do you want me to deep throat that cock of yours, baby?"
 "I want to sit on your face babe"
Personally I have never used a single curse word outside of the bedroom, like… ever! But certain words add to the experience, for example, it sounds rather silly saying put that big penis in my vagina, doesn’t it? Instead I’d use the words cock and pussy, sounds better huh! One of my biggest hang ups had to do with the F word, but no other word was as appropriate during sex than this, one day while Brett had me bent over, I let it slip, “F*ck Me!” I demanded. My face grew red, his did too, but quickly the shock and aww turned into a smile, as he told me to tell him again what he wanted from him, “f*ck Me” I begged more sensually while biting my lower lip. Words have a purpose, a time and a place to use, obviously these words should never leave the bedroom, and when used responsibly can help even Christian couples to amplify their sexual experience through vocal communication.
As a lover we have the ability to not only make our partner horny by physical touch, but equally through our sounds, our screams, our moans, and specially our words, as a man nothing is hotter than his lover asking him to fuck her, as a woman nothing is hotter than hearing her guy lose control as he cums. Be vocal, be loud, be slutty and whorish, say their name, beg them for actions, describe what your doing, or about to do, if your fuck their minds first, the orgasm is sure to follow quicker.

For more ideas visit

http://badgirlsbible.com/dirty-things-to-say-to-a-guy
http://badgirlsbible.com/dirty-talk-examples
http://badgirlsbible.com/dirty-talk-phrases

Comments

Melissa T said…
Our rule has always been what happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom. I love the idea of talking dirty, we're awful at it, but its still fun! so long as it doesn't ever carry over outside the bedroom I see no harm in playfully using words that are used to describe sexual acts.
Whitney Benson said…
Thank you Melissa,
We based our decision to use these words based off of a lot of research, this site really helped us come to the conclusion to use dirty words during sex: https://godsgifttohim.wordpress.com/tag/dirty-talk/
Anonymous said…
I would die a happy man if i could get my christian wife to loosen up & talk to me in the bedroom. Just once i want to hear her ask me to "F Me".
Whitney Benson said…
I'm sorry anonymous, have you talked with her to find out what her hang up is? does she feel guilty about using bedroom language?
Grandmammy said…
Back in my day we never talked at all during sexual intercourse, our pastors said it planted impure thoughts in our heads. The way you kids talk now a days and behave is extremely whorish if you ask me. I'm Sorry for the honesty, but as a good Christian I had to say something.
Sky said…
Grandmammy, thank you for your opinion and honesty, but I have to respectfully disagree with your perspective, to not talk dirty during sex (or at all) is like saying you shouldn't drive a car because it wastes gas, well obviously that's the point! sex is there to promote and encourage mental as well as physical bonds.

As far as "whorish" is concerned, I think the terms slut and whore have multiple meanings when used in different contexts. Obviously when single, you would never want to be referred to as a whore or slut, it indicates you sleep around and participate in crude behavior. But when married these phrases take on a whole new meaning, indicating the wife is sexually explorative with her husband and goes above and beyond to please him.

as wife I actually call myself his slut and whore at times, its like a badge of honor, that I'm capable of fulfilling his every fantasy, willing to do the dirty work to please him. I'm proud to be a slut and whore, but as I said, these terms mean new things in todays world. Everywhere but the bedroom I am treated and respected as a queen, a goddess, a princess even, but behind our bedroom doors he needs someone who is willing to take charge and shed off her royal gown and put on her F Me shoes so to speak.
Melissa said…
Well put Whitney, dirty sex is just so much more enjoyable, and these words and names only add to the experience (as long as they remain in the bedroom) I know my man loves and respects me, he treats me like royalty, but every man needs a women who can reverse rolls in the bedroom and take charge. Dirty talk is the perfect way to do so ;)
Tricha Thomas said…
I think you both nailed it! even for us Christians dirty talk can enhance the experience without degrading our spiritual values.

Generally sparking it seems as if women are the ones hesitant to communicate while making love, I took some time to read some ideas on things to say in an online book, here is part of the list, obviously it can be expanded to be used on both sexes.

1. Your cock feels amazing against my lips, but your cum is going to feel even better against my tits.
2. Do you mind if I touch myself? Or do you want to do it?
3. After you cum into my mouth, I’m going to make you cum into my pussy.
4. My nipples are as hard as your cock.
5. Your dick feels even bigger when it’s inside my mouth.
6. Tell me when you’re about to cum, so I don’t miss a single drop.
7. When you look down at me like that, it makes me insanely wet.
8. Do you want me to keep going or should I get on top and ride you?
9. I love those sexy little moans you’ve been making.
10. I can’t believe I get to suck such a hot guy’s dick.
11. I think I like going down on you even more than I like getting eaten out.
12. I’ve never gotten this wet from sucking a guy off before.
13. I hope you taste as delicious as you did yesterday.
14. Grab my hair. I want to feel your hands on me.
15. You look sexy as fuck in those boxers.
16. Take your shirt off. I want to see that sexy body.
17. Do you like the way my lips feel against your shaft?
18. After you cum, I’m going to wrap my legs around your head until you make me cum.
19. I fucking love you, and I love fucking you.
20. Do you want to cum down my throat or all over my chest?
21. I want to feel your dick pulse between my lips.
22. Even your precum tastes delicious.
23. I could suck your dick for hours.
24. If you keep looking at me like that, I might cum before you do.
25. I’m going to make you orgasm so hard you’ll be shaking for hours.
26. I want you to cum all over my face.
27. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but I’ve never seen a cock as big as yours.
28. I hope this feels as fucking amazing for you as it does for me.
29. Your eyes look even more gorgeous than usual from down here.
30. Sucking you is such a huge turn-on.
31. I’m going to masturbate to the thought of this later.
32. Do you mind if I stop? I’d rather have you cum in my ass tonight.
33. Shove it down my throat. I can handle it.
34. I hope my pussy tastes half as good as your cum does.
35. Does that feel good, sexy?
36. I have a pair of handcuffs with your name on them.
37. If you take your shirt off, I’ll take my bra off.
38. Reach down and grab my tits.
39. Keep moaning. It’s making me even hornier.
40. I never thought I’d like sucking cock. Until I met you.
41. How does my tongue feel against your cock?
42. I can’t wait to watch you orgasm.
43. Rub my clit while I lick your shaft.
44. I want to hear you say my name.
45. I love how hard you get whenever you play with my tits.
46. Do you have any idea how hot you are?
47. Tell me what you want me to do to you.
48. Get on top of me so we can 69.
49. I want your cock in my mouth while your tongue’s on my pussy.
50. I’m so lucky I get to suck this cock for the rest of my life.

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