SEX & RELIGION (Part 1/4)

SEX & YOUR RELIGION EXPERIENCE (Part 1/4)

One of my biggest obstacles overcoming my negative mentality with sex, and re-programming my brain to enjoy and even want sex came as I overcame my religious upbringing that had poisoned my sexual wants and needs. You see, religion and sex, when presented accurately has the power to shape a healthy and beautiful sexual journey. In contrast instead we see many religions who not only do not understand sex, but go overboard and condemn it, leading to just terrible marriage sex, and poor self health mentally. 

We’re so grateful for our 4 different male and female volunteers who have been willing to write about their experience in Catholicism, Christianity, Mormonism, and the Baptist faith, and how each of their marriages were impacted as they navigated what their religion taught, verses what they did find a happy and healthy sex life despite their religions philosophies.

Todays religion of focus will be Catholicism

MY CATHOLIC HEAVEN & HELL

BY Anna Mendoza

Growing up Catholic is a double edged sword, it brings a person closer to God than can even be described through it’s beauty and traditional rituals, and yet it is also mentally unbearable when it comes to sexuality.

It should come as no surprise that the Catholic church has been branded as the “sex abuse” scandal kings. Whether it’s priestly abuse, nuns and priests remaining pure virgins, or the downright hellfire and damnation taught from the alter, Catholics have zero sense when it comes to having a healthy sexuality before and during marriage...

In my own marriage (as well as all those I know) we are faced with the choice to either live a life of sexual shame and neglect, or to become sexy freaks and take joy in rebelling and screwing like porn stars. Fortunately most members are able to see through the hypocrisy and inaccurate teachings, and embrace our sexuality both before and during marriage. 

For me sex was my choice, not the church’s, not my family, not my friends, it is a relationship between me and my guy (as well as God of course).

Here are 14 of my incorrect pet peeves about incorrect and out of date Catholic beliefs taught in our faith:  

1. Sex is for procreation, which means sex for “mere pleasure” is bad and safeguarding against ill-conceived pregnancy makes you cheap. If you don’t want a baby in nine months you should keep your legs together or your zipper up.

2. Sex without marriage is “fornication”—the kind of evil sin that, if you are unrepentant, can send you straight to hell.

 3. Girls should stay “pure” until they get married.

4. Sex is dirty. If cleanliness is next to godliness, then what could possibly be less godly than cum or period blood and vaginal goo.

5. Masturbation is degenerate and damaging, and Someone is watching every time you get off.

 6. Anal sex is called “sodomy” for a reason—God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah by raining down fire from heaven.

7. Virginity is a thing. In fact, it’s the thing, since only a girl with a pristine vagina could possibly be good enough bear the Son of God.

 8. Women come in three models: Virgin, Madonna, and Whore; a female is a cherry ripe for the picking, a beatific mother, or a slut.

9. In men, sexual abstinence is a moral virtue and a sign of a good spiritual leader.

10. If a man is really devoted to God, then abstinence is no problem.

11. Female consent is not a big deal: A virgin should be given in marriage by her father, a slut always wants it, and a married woman has no right to deny her husband his due.

12. As a woman, if sex or menstruation or childbirth hurts or a pregnancy test comes back positive at a bad time, accept your lot in life. Que será, será. Go with the flow. Let go and let God. And blame the misery on that uppity female, Eve, who just couldn’t resist eating from the tree of knowledge.

13. Having sex under less than ideal circumstances is going to ruin your life as well as your afterlife and vagina because you reap what you sow.

14.Children born outside of wedlock are illegitimate bastards. This means, biblically speaking, that they are not real sons (Hebrews 12:8) and that their mere presence can somehow taint their surroundings (Deuteronomy 23:2).  

When it comes to sexuality, many religious authorities are stuck in a set of scripts optimized for the Iron Age, literally, and adapted during the Dark Ages. Some Church teachings about sex, like priestly celibacy, are so harmful that they threaten the whole institution, while others simply harm us as individuals. But the old conservatives at the top are terrified of change, afraid that if they lose their grip on sex and reproduction they will lose their grip, period.

Religious authorities will adapt only if forced to do so by empowered women who take charge of their own bodies and destiny, and men who cherish creative equality, and queer folk who invalidate archaic binaries simply by living and loving. So, be one. Or partner one. Or raise one.

My marriage has blossomed as I've stopped allowing my religions false teachings about sex,  and instead embrace my sexuality, guilt free. Our marriage has never been better, whether it's the hot sex at home, the freaky hook ups out in public, the threesomes, and so on, our life has never been better feeling free of the shame chains our church taught we should wear when it comes to sex.