OVERCOMING THE "DATE NIGHT BLUES"
TRANSFORMING OUR DATING LIFE, HOW TO SAVE OUR MARRIAGE
Lately Whit & I have received quite a bit of mail about bettering our dating life from married women, it seems that as married couples many of us have fallen into a bad habit of engaging in low quality, low connectivity dates, and that many of the wives out there simply aren't quite sure how to make dates better, and what they're supposed to be doing to contribute to a date that allows both man and wife to reconnect and fall in love all over again every time.
Now as a man let me offer this quick perspective, generally speaking in a married relationship our dates go something like this, the man plans out the date, brings her on the date, both sides have a good time over dinner and in doing fun activities, he gets playful and sexual while out in public, she gets shy, eventually the date ends, the couple gets home, both showers, gets naked, has sex, bedtime. Sound familiar? Anyone with any intuition whatsoever could spot out an issues in such a repetitive situation. Firstly, its boring for him, Secondly she contributes little if anything to the date other than her conversation and presence, third the date does little to connect sexually even with sex at the end.
One particular wife recently wrote in asking "Dear Whitney and Brett, Thank you for your time and willingness to discuss our marital issues with us, over the past year our marriage has become alive once more! I had a question about how to make our dates more interesting, fun, and sexual even. Oft times I find myself confused about what I should be doing to contribute to our dating relationship, both in terms of planning, behavior during the date, and the sex that inevitably follows afterwards. What kinds of things do guys expect from his wife during a date? I get the feeling he's disappointed with me most times, he always tries to flirt with me while out, but I get shy and reserved, and push him away, I want to learn how to be more sexually aware and active even while on our dates. Have any suggestions? I really would like to ramp up my sex game and be more spontaneous to my desires and to his".




In our marriage dating is pivotal to a happy relationship, we've both noticed that when our dates become stale so does our relationship and attitude towards each other. Over time we noticed that when we both make an effort to equally take turns planning dates it helps take the stress off of me and allows us to come up with new and fun ideas on a more regular basis. We also found that by swapping out the standard move night with a night of dirty dancing in the city we found our connection and sexual desire to be through the roof. It is also important for the female to understand that date time is in reality the "primetime moment for sexual mating" in our relationships, think about it, in nature there is always a time of year when species are sexually active and attempt to attract their mates, dating is more or less this time for us as couples. It's the time we dress up, show off, flirt, seduce, and get it on. When one spouse tends to shy away from reconnecting in this way it really damages the overall relationship.
Play With Power
Who is usually in control in bed? If you don't want to change
that up, who usually seduces, and who is usually seduced? "Does one person
typically 'drive' during your sexual encounter?" asks Jeske. "Take
turns being in control or initiating." If that's enough for now, stop
there — but you can also "play with power by exploring being a little more
submissive or more dominant," she says. "There is a huge continuum
for sex and power." If you've never experimented with submission or
dominance, you could take this opportunity.
"Most couples like some level of dominance and submission
in their sexual encounters, from using a blindfold or some silk scarves, to tying
each other up, to spanking or playing with power in a more verbal or
psychological way, all the way up to a master/slave relationship." Go
slow: "Know your boundaries and explore power together," she says.
WHAT DO GUYS EXPECT FROM DATING THEIR WIFE?
To look our best, and for you to do the same:
Dating is the one time when we as men always want to look our best, we shave, trim our hair, put on cologne, wear clothing that makes our butts look good, our abs look tight, and our arms look huge, we want to show ourselves off to our woman and to others to make her proud of us. As a woman we fully expect you to do the same, wear something that makes you look your best! wear something tight, show some skin maybe, hike up your skirt higher than usual, and yes, CLEAVAGE IS A MUST wink wink... added with some perfume, bit of make up, and possibly heels at times, we see you want to attract us just as badly as we want to attract you.
Be Flirtatious & a tease
Naturally guys have the ability to flirt, seduce, and even tease relentlessly at times to build sexual tension, Christian women however tend to have a tough time letting themselves be seen flirting in public. Early in our marriage Whitney wouldn't do anything more than a squeeze on the butt, a kiss, or a hug in public. Over time with good practice she learned the art of sneakiness and how to do sexy things in public without getting caught. Its important for foreplay to begin early, not once you arrive home or when your going home... Do things like show some cleavage sneakily, lick your lips seductively (AKA the you're getting a BJ sign), rub your hand down his thighs, learn to get creative and your dates will be memorable each and every time.
Be Sexual, and not just when we get home
In a long term relationship a man and woman MUST BE COMFORTABLE ENOUGH WITH THEIR SEXUALITY TO HAVE FUN IN PLACES OTHER THAN AT HOME, otherwise the relationship is headed for boredom and despair. A good wife will allow her man to get naughty in places other than just the bedroom. They'll both seduce each other in the car, restaurant, kitchen, outdoors, etc. One thing Whit loves to do is flash me in the car, or in a private secluded hallway. Another thing we love to do is get handsy under the table or at the movies, honestly I think the most memorable sex and foreplay have been the times we did things not at home, specially at the office. Whit always ensures she is shaved well before date time so she can be ready to screw the second we get home.
Be willing to do it in new places
Wear something a bit "sluttier than usual" both out on the town and in bed
One thing that most women don't realize about date night sex is that he needs it to be special this time, no lazy comfy nighties, no boring massages, no lovie dovie silent love making sessions... He needs it to be hotter, lustier, dirtier than just your average sex session. Make it a point to either put on kinky lingerie under your date clothing, or to quickly change when you get home. Sex needs variety, sometimes it means making love, sometimes it means pure hard fucking, either way you decide to do it, what you wear enables you and him to both embrace the importance of date night sex and give it your all.
Make date night sex special, make it a show
As I mentioned before, Date Night sex cant be just your average shagging, its gotta be special, this is the one time of the week he actually needs something from you. The thing he needs is effort, enthusiasm, and energy! Making love to a dead fish, a lazy lover, a silent lover, or a loveless lover is just flat out terrible... Honestly most guys would rather just go masturbate than make love to a girl who is only giving it half her effort. There have been many times where I have been tempted just to say "screw it I'm done" and stop having sex when she is clearly not wanting to be there. EFFORT AND ENTHUSIASM MAKES OR BREAKS YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Always give it your all while giving him head, a guy LOVES hearing how big his manhood is, show him how much you love it and how shocked you are by his size.
Be the aggressor from time to time
A man who has to be the one to always catch his prey is the man who never feels as if he's worth being caught... Plain and simply if you don't ever seduce him or take charge in the bedroom he'll begin to feel he's unloved and not worth your time, love, and attention.
Use your Breasts early and often
If there's one thing I know... MEN LOVE BREASTS haha. use them to your advantage, show some cleavage in public, make him horny, make the other guys jealous that your hunk gets to take you home tonight. Guys love love love a good pair of breasts, show them off, flash him unexpectedly, in public, in the car, at home, everywhere is a good time. A woman who knows how to use her breasts well will own her mans heart for life. I must admit nothing is as sexy as titte F'ing my beautiful wifes rack while she smiles at me and talks dirty.
Oral Sex had better happen if you want to keep us mentally

ORAL SEX CAN LITERALLY END A RELATIONSHIP. If your man is going down on you, and you don't return the favor, well... He's cheating on you in his mind more than likely... Oral sex is the glue to a mans heart that binds him to you, we've talked a lot about how men are so often in charge of leading the relationship romantically and sexually, If you as a wife cant take the lead in this simple field your relationship is headed for disaster. Use eye contact, technique, tease him, attack him, deepthroat him, this is the one area a man cannot do without if he is to be your loyal companion. If your husband ever has to ask for a blowjob chances are his heart doesn't belong to you, a real woman gives head weekly without ever having been asked to...
Be willing to try something new
So this one might freak you out a bit, but only if your a bit prudish and don't have an open mind. SEX GETS DULL IF YOU DONT TRY NEW THINGS... END OF STORY. now this doesn't mean you need to go out and do anal, have a threesome, or become a dominatrix, but it does mean you need to be willing to try new things to see if either of you enjoys it, explore new things gradually, toys, positions, places, anal, female on female videos, threesomes, etc.
Try new positions often
Be vocal, talk dirty, moan, scream, whimper, gasp, let us hear your pleasure
Perhaps a mans second favorite aspect of sex: the vocal connection and sounds! Men love noise! love it! the moans, the occasional screams, the dirty talk, and begging, whimpering, it all enhances the experience and makes it that much hotter for the both of you. MEN AND WOMEN absolutely must learn to be vocal, otherwise sex is just meh...
Ride him like a horse
A real woman not only knows how to grind, but how to bounce, bouncing to a man is essential to orgasm.


Be greedy for his orgasm


The grand finale of sex, the orgasm. How a woman chooses to help her man cum will either make him leave feeling satisfied, or leave feeling like he was cheated and needs more from her. Cum is a difficult subject for some women, who feel gross even touching it, but look at what men go through! when a man goes down on her, each and every time we receive a facial from her, each and every time we swallow ounces of her cum, is it so much to ask for her to do the same for us from time to time? A woman who wont swallow cant ever hope to please her man the way he needs it. Not only is it biblically encouraged, but it chemically addicts her to him, and him to her! Learn to give your self a facial, learn to let him cum in your mouth and spit it out, learn to swallow it eventually, and learn to absolutely show him you are addicted to it. Do this and you own the key to his heart. My personal favorite is when Whitney sticks her tongue out, even if its nowhere near her tongue its the womans verbal queue for a man as if to say "give it to me baby"! we love it.


LASTLY YOUR JOB IS TO ENSURE YOU ARE SATISFIED! NEVER LEAVE SEX UNTIL YOU"VE RECEIVED ALL THE PLEASURE YOU NEED!


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God bless you.