WHY WOMEN WANT AND NEED THEIR MAN TO DOMINATE THEM SEXUALLY SOMETIMES
WHY IS IT SEEMINGLY 90% OF WOMEN ARE DRAWN TO 50 SHADES OF GREY?
We all know generally women tend to be the shy ones in the bedroom, and because of this we want and need a MAN who can take the lead and really take control sexually. Over the past decade the novel "50 Shades of Grey" has become a cultural phenomenon with women, why? Because it describes just what women want in bed, a man who can and will take the lead and pleasure us as well as themselves. So guys listen up... Most of these same women go on to say that although they love the novel and movies they think the guy is a bit too intense and over the top aggressive. But we still love it because its a prime example of romancing and getting the job done. Obviously we still need to be the one to seduce him occasionally, but often we need him to take charge.
So what does this all mean? that you should tie us up? spank us until we're bruised? pull our hair and make us hurt? HECK NO! but what it does mean is that we need a man who can take control, who can own us in a loving and forceful yet respectful way. Think back to when you were dating, was there ever a time when you passionately pushed her against a wall and kissed her? remember hearing a soft whimper or gasp from her jaw dropping stare? This is what happens to us when a man asserts himself passionately and takes what he wants (us). We immediately get horny, my pussy gets wet and starts to tingle, my knees go weak, I get chills on my neck and back, I completely lose focus on everything else that's happening around me, the stress and worry in my life are instantly gone. I become a slave to his passion, whatever he wants from me I'm his to do it. A WIFE NEEDS A MAN!
But how can you do this without coming across as egotistical, obsessive, overly aggressive, or just to much of a brute? THE ANSWER IS TRUST. A woman needs to know that you are doing this out of love, that as you unleash this animal of lust that you love us deeply and are not just in it for yourself. There is nothing worse than having the thought run through our head that we are just a piece of meat there for your pleasure. SO HOW CAN YOU FORCEFULLY DOMINATE HER IN A WAY THAT SHE FEELS SAFE, CONNECTED, AND FULL OF TRUST AND EXCITEMENT?
Simple!
- Smile & Laugh: This will let her know that despite your animal coming out you are still here for her and her pleasure, and have nothing to fear.
- Look her in the eyes often: Staring too much at the rest of our body makes us feel like we're being used, keep your eyes on us and it will help us know your focused on us as a couple
- Communicate: Dominant sex requires a lot of controlling talk, and demanding talk, but it also can be done with words of love, kindness, and compliments, this helps us ease our minds and stay in tune with your love making.
- Talk beforehand about your wifes feelings about passionate, fast paced, dominant sex, help ease her mind, talk about the importance of sex like this and how she can learn to let go.
For myself until I learned to have this kind of sex I could never enjoy sex, I was in my head too much and thought the idea of fast, rough, or controlling sex to be anti feminist and insulting. The truth of the matter is as women we are so caught up with stress outside the bedroom that we cant enjoy sex, this kind of passion and submissiveness literally causes us our minds to erase all our stress and worries and allows us to embrace the experience and love sex deeply. This is the kind of sex that makes us want it more, makes us crave his wild side every day. This is the sex that keeps libidos high, that keeps our minds horny, and that keeps our marriage strong.
HERE ARE SOME WAYS TO PASSIONATLY BLOW YOUR WIFES MIND:
Passionate Kissing:
Being Pushed Against A Wall:
Being thrown onto a bed:
Having our clothing Ripped off us:
Shock value is what gets most womens motors running, don't underestimate it!
Nibbles & Biting Gently:
Being lifted up:
The feeling of a strong man picking us up causes me to get wet instantly and makes me beg him to fuck me then and there.
Eagerly being eaten out: Do I even need to say why? ;)
Spanking:
Like I mentioned above, no bruising, but a soft kinky spank is so sexy, as a woman I always ask to be spanked, it turns him on knowing I enjoy his kinks. Do it soft enough just to sting a tad, but not harder unless she asks for it. This really helps most women relax their minds and get into the bad girl mentality and enjoy sex.
Hair Pulling:
Hair pulling actually feels good to most women if done right, and the mentality of it makes us even wetter, to do it right though you must grab the hair at the base of the back of our head, anywhere else causes it to actually hurt and not feel good.
Being twirled around: CONTROL US!!!
Fingering Us:
When a guy does this to me and kisses me or talks dirty, I just melt in his arms and moan like crazy!
Running your hands in multiple places:
A multi-tasker makes for the best lover, plain and simple...
Pinning us down:
The feeling of being completely helpless is so sexy
Dirty Talk:
Standing Strong sex:
This is a fantasy for both men and women, having a big strong man pin them against a wall and screw our brains out while holding us, I think I orgasm harder in this position than any other.
Pinning our arms behind our back:
Choking:
I know what you're thinking! NO! I used to be the same way until I read why people do it and how they do it. Chocking doesn't actually mean you cant breathe, it simply means his hand is on your neck and is putting slight pressure on your neck (basically just a small squeeze. Basically instead of being able to breathe at 100% you are breathing at 75%, women want this done to them because it causes them to have full body intense orgasms, nobody knows why, but it heightens your senses and nerves. Try practicing on your own while masturbating one day, just squeeze slightly, its not a big deal and is soooo hot. but definitely talk to her before ever trying it. this works on men too. The feeling of not only being dominated, but of having an eruption of pleasure in your vagina is a must try for every woman. SERIOUSLY, if your too afraid to let him do it to you, try it on yourself the first time, you wont regret it!
Contorting our bodies in submissive positions:
The feeling of having our bodies pushed around and pinned down is just unreal, feeling his strong arms controlling our legs is a feeling every girl needs to have.
Screwing us with our heads hanging off the bed:
If you've never tried this before all I can say is do it now! the feeling of him filling you up while your head hangs off is one of my favorite feelings, the blood flow to your brain makes your orgasm that much more intense.
Taking charge during thrusting:
The feeling of a hard throbbing cock is overwhelming, I seriously gush when he takes control of thrusting, feeling him hard and turned on makes me hard and turned on!
Being Told what to do:
When he is blowing my mind my mind is just goo! I am seriously willing to do anything he asks, when he tells me to get on my knees and open my mouth I do it with pleasure, I suck his cock like its my life support, swallowing is a guarantee, when he tells me to back my ass up I do it with intense enthusiasm, its total submission and I LOVE IT! WOMEN LOVE IT! if she has a sex drive she'll be eager to please you back. I actually love letting him Face F me during these times.
Comments
So not "would you go down on me?" but "get on your knees, now. open your mouth. good girl." and so on. tell her what to do, and praise when she does something that turns you on.
So- tell don't ask, and move her around with your hands, be in control.
Make sure she knows she can say no to anything and that it is her job to speak up if something is wrong, and you will respect that. Then take charge. Please note also that you aren't required to be dominant just cause you are a guy. If it doesn't work for you, tell her. But maybe you will love it!
We started sex in a normal way, but after some minutes he blindfolded me and then he kept me waiting. Yes, just waiting. I was naked and my vagina was exposed to him. I could feel the cold air around it and I started begging for his dick. It felt like eternity, but finally when I was so horny he slammed into me and I came like instantly. Best sex ever, I and you know what: I married this guy!
This is definitely me. I think part of the reason it turns me on so much is because the whole dominating attitude communicates: "I WANT YOU so badly that nothing in the world is going to keep me from fucking you. I want you, I own you, you're mine. This is a predator, prey relationship and I'm hungry for your body. You're so hot, you turn me on so hard, I want to use you to make myself cum."
Things I like: - covering my mouth -putting fingers in my mouth (especially after fingering me) - hair pulling (easy tip for making it hurt less but just as hot, grab as much hair as possible rather than a few strands) - forceful sex transitions, as in: I want you on your back. I want you on your stomach. I want you on top. And not just asking, actually pushing or moving me there, because he wants it right fucking now. -ass slapping/grabbing - when he makes me beg to cum, that drives me nuts - when he demands oral sex - the need for immediacy, like when he walks through the door and he instantly is on me, taking off my clothes, pushing me down, holding my hands and hips so i can't struggle or protest
Just the hints of control, of not being able to escape, really turn me on -- wrists encircled lightly with his hands and held down, pressing me full-body into the bed, a hand that alternates between circling the throat and lightly squeezing it.
Stop right before she's about to cum and say, "Do you want to cum? Beg for it." Flip her on to her stomach so she's laying flat, get on top of her, penetrate her and then wrap one of your arms around her neck - you don't have to choke her but for her, it's a feeling of not being able to get away. During reverse cowgirl or doggy, hold her wrists behind her back and bite her shoulders. Put your hand on her throat - light choking if she likes it, but even just the act of putting your fingers around her throat without choking is hot. Also if you hold her face with your hand and make her look at you while you give her directions or call her names.
Definitely love being called his slut, a naughty girl who needs a punishing, that kind of stuff. Another part of my submissiveness is loving the idea of calling him "daddy" during it (I say "the idea of" because I don't think it'll ever happen because he finds it weird). She might or might not like that. I didn't care for it at first, until the idea was presented to me elsewhere and my submissive side was all, "..hell, that's hot" because it somehow makes me feel even more dominated by him. I know a lot of guys feel weird about that though because it seems too incesty (even though I can promise you the attraction to it is not incesty at all). Telling me to tell him that my pussy is his or that I love his cock. Basically commanding her to do things. Tell her to strip down for you and bend over your bed, be rough with her.
Asking and talking doesn't ruin the mood. If you can't make it into a sexy conversation talk before you start. There is a lot of room for error with the "oh, I'll just know" method. I don't see any reason to promote it. That isn't because you can't ever tell what's going on with body language - it's because it seems to actively discourage people from talking about sex. Talk about sex. If you have to squeeze someone's arm or cry out then it's already too late. It's already been too much. It's easy to tell someone when something is too much. The goal is to avoid getting to that point. Sex isn't about pushing someone until they put their foot down and communicate that they aren't having fun anymore. That's just lousy communication all around. When I say "what if I wasn't okay with it?" I don't mean "what if it hurt too much." I'm a masochist, and my partner knew that, so neither of us were particularly worried about hurting me too much. That rarely happens by mistake. What I meant is... what if I just didn't want to be hit across the face? What if it triggered me and brought up bad memories? What if it made me feel dirty, gross, and useless? What if HE had ruined the mood?
Text messages telling me to do something, or telling me what he is going to do to me.
When we are together, telling me to do something, or telling me what he is going to do to me.
Moving me, physically, to get what he wants. Like pushing down to get me on my knees.
Making me ask for what I want.
Holding my hands above my head or behind my back while fucking.
Some spanking, slapping (not face), pretty agressive fingering if I am good and wet.
Any positions where I can't get away...Holding my hips hard enough to leave bruises.
But more than any specific action, it's just more the attitude that works. The whole "I am in charge" vibe that comes out sometimes that really works for me.
ETA: "Good girl". Oh my god, that works.
Thread your fingers through the back of her hair and grab (enough to pull the hair, not enough to be painful or depending on what the girl in question enjoys, not overly painful) - pull her head back by the hair exposing her neck and kiss along it adding nips and bites at times.
During cunnilingus: when she's getting close to orgasm or just starting to go over, shift your hands from where they were and grab both of her arms, holding them down forcefully and pulling them towards you sufficiently to hold her in place. Not so hard as to hurt her arms or shoulders, but enough to 'trap' her if you will. While doing this continue licking / sucking aggressively to push her through her orgasm.
While on top and thrusting: have your head to the side of hers kissing her neck or ear area, push harder/faster/deeper (or really whatever you know will cause her to make a pleasurable sound) and when that happens push a hand over her mouth to keep her quiet (not too hard) and continue to do things that would normally cause her to make said sounds - while at the same time denying her the ability to make said sounds.
Alternatively to the above scenario: again while on top whisper something into her ear that would cause her to speak back to you - classic example is 'I love you' but again, you'll probably know what she responds to best. IMMEDIATELY after doing this, just before she has the chance to respond (or the moment she starts to respond verbally) thrust in hard or do something you know will force her to gasp rather than be able to speak and at the same time kiss her forcefully to cut off that gasp. Perhaps also have one of your hands around her neck while kissing. Depends on what she responds to.
There are various other things but I think this should give you the general idea. Have fun!